Yesteryear

Tea and Cuddles

Day by day, Wooyoung's eye bags grew worse. His cheeks became gaunt as he barely ate and Seungyoun had to reply to the worried messages his parents sent him, asking to see him. Seungyoun said Wooyoung had a nasty allergy to dust currently and couldn't show up on camera, and they had no other choice but to believe Seungyoun.

Night by night, Wooyoung sat at the window while Seungyoun tried to stay up with him for as long as possible, only to give in to his exhaustion after a few hours. He talked a lot, but they were lonely conversations. Wooyoung barely acknowledged him and when he did, it was only by a nod or a disassociated hum.

Yongguk dropped by a few times. He brought snacks and drinks that he knew Wooyoung loved and he updated them on the happenings at work. Wooyoung's report had been pushed out to a later date because of his predicament. Talking with someone was good for Seungyoun. They had their private discussions while Wooyoung just sat in a corner and looked at his lap.

He played a lot with his hair pearl recently. Cradling it in his fingers, staring at it; it reminded him of San. He only had so few memories of San. The other one was the sketch from Leonardo that Yongguk had brought from Wooyoung's home after he had asked for it.

New Year passed by them in depressing silence, as well did Epiphany.

After Seungyoun mentioned to Yongguk quietly once about how his back hurt after the many nights of sleeping on the floor, Wooyoung figured it couldn't go on like this. He used up so much of Seungyoun's patience and care, giving him no opportunity to get some relaxation in.

That day after Yongguk had left, Wooyoung told Seungyoun quietly to sleep in his bed. At first, the man had looked relieved at the suggestion, then his eyebrows had drawn together as he pieced Wooyoung's sudden motivation to mention it with the conversation at noon.

"I don't want to leave you out here alone," Seungyoun had explained. Wooyoung smiled, a shadow of what his bright grin once was.

"I will join you in bed once I'm tired."

Both of them knew he lied, but Seungyoun was exhausted, so he took it.

For two nights, Wooyoung didn't sleep at his side and just sat at the window. Sometimes Seungyoun's cat joined him, sometimes she didn't. Seungyoun relaxed after finding him in the same spot where he had left him in the evening every morning. He went to sleep with a clear conscience after that.

One night when Wooyoung couldn't resist the draw of sleep any longer, nightmares plagued him. Pictures of San, dead in all the times they had met. Beheaded at Babylon, crucified in Rome, split open with an axe in Norway, shot with a bow in Nottingham, hanged in Florence and guillotined in London. Each sight was more cruel and twisted than the next and Wooyoung startled himself awake in a cold sweat after the dream ended.

His heart burnt like liquid metal in his chest. It agonised him, wanted to make him scream for his lover like a lost child.

When he couldn't take it anymore, he fled to Seungyoun's room. The noise of the door woke the man, and he blinked at Wooyoung's silhouette in the faint light of the living room.

A sleepy hand lifted the corner of the covers and Wooyoung dashed to his side. Trembling, he curled up against Seungyoun's chest and the man wrapped a protective arm around Wooyoung. The act choked him up, brought up so many memories.

Cradled by the warm body behind him, Wooyoung cried and cried. He cried until his eyes dried out yet again and his body had numbed into blissful stillness. Seungyoun held him through it, ran his fingers through Wooyoung's hair and shared his warmth under the covers when Wooyoung feared his heart would freeze in his chest.