Lost (Paul Lahote story)

let's Talk

Later that night, after we ate at dinner at Sam's. I decided I had to talk to Paul about this whole imprint situation. I really didn't want to because I know knew how childish and embarrassing the guys can be, but it was for the best. I think.

"Hey, can we talk?"

Everyone in the room went quite. After he nodded, Jared started whistling, which caused me to react. I stood there angrily looking at him. I was shaking and nearly growling.

"Ten bucks on Lily." Jake said trying not to laugh. I knew why he was betting on me.

"Dude, you're on!" Quil said laughing.

"I'm with Jake on this." Embry said patting Quil on the back. I grew even angrier an annoyed.

"Enough!" Sam cut in. I reacted and calmed down. I looked at Sam angrily and then stormed out of the house until I was walking on the beach. I had totally forgotten that Paul and I were going to talk, so I ended up getting angry when he followed me. Really, i didn't know how to start. So it was quite until he broke the silence.

"Is it true?" He asked looking at the sand he kicked with his feet.

"Is what true?"

"That you left because you didn't want to imprint?" he was looking at me like if he didn't want to know the answer. He was afraid of being hurt. I then thought about the day I decided to leave. It wasn't t because I nearly hurt my brother. It was because I nearly phased in front of Kai. I could have killed him, but Sam showed up angry with me.

He made him leave and demanded that I never see him again. I didn't care what Sam wanted me to do, but because I nearly hurt someone I cared about, I broke up with him and left. Forgetting that he ever existed or even cared.

"No, there's many reasons to why I left. I was afraid. I mean I am the first female. I thought I was going crazy. Then again, I'm stubborn and have a bad temper. Others just seem to think I'm a jerk. It also has to do with the fact that I nearly hurt Ka- my brother. It's like Sam and Emily, but like I said, my stubbornness and bad temper makes it a lot more dangerous for me to be around people. That's why I left. And then there's the biggest reason of them all, but I really don't want to talk about it."
He didn't say anything but he looked a bit relieved. "Why did you think it was because of the imprint?"

"Well, Jake mentioned that you didn't want any of this. It's why you avoided contact with people. That you only came back because of your brother and because you..." I cut him off.

"I thought I wouldn't imprint if I avoided everyone and stayed on the reservation. Yeah, I find it ironic, being told who you're going to spend the rest of your life with." I realized I hurt him, but I didn't care, so I looked away and avoided eye contact. Not only did I really hate feeling bad for people, but also the putty that's meant for me.

"You know you can't keep fighting it."

"Clearly. Sam already got on me for that. What do you mean you? If I'm not mistaken, yesterday you were fighting it as soon as it happened. You grew angry, probably threw and tantrum out of anger."

"Yeah, here's the thing. I don't want to fight it. Yesterday and today it hurt me when you were ignoring me. It made me... it made me mad, but I don't want to hurt you...or be away from you." He said putting his hands on my shoulders.

The way he was looking at me made me weak. I didn't want this, but a part of me did. We looked into each other's eyes until I finally looked away.

How could this feel so right when I clearly didn't want this to begin with? It was only because of the imprint. If it wasn't for the Imprint we wouldn't feel this way about each other. I would go back to hating him for the past.

I then turned to look at the waves for a moment, but I still felt his eyes on me. When I turned back to look at him he leaned in and kissed me. As much as I wanted to, I didn't kiss him back. I pulled away and walked back to Sam's.

"Here look I'll show you all of them." Embry said laughing to Jared when I walked in.

"What's that?" I ask him but he just stayed quite.

"Nothing, just some pictures from when we went cliff diving." Jared said laughing, "By the way everyone is in on the bet. Although, I don't understand how Leah, Embry, Emily and Jake think you can beat me. Oh not to mention Sam." I couldn't hold in the laughter.

I was looking at Jake, Emily and Sam and shook my head at them. I knew why Emily was on my side, Sam must have told her. And Jacob only knew because he was still my best friend and the only one I spoke to. The rest of them kept looking at me as if I were crazy.

"I'm leaving so, bye." I said giving everyone a hug. Right when I was about to walk out of the door, Paul walked in. I just ignored him and walked right past him trying to make it home.

After I got in the shower and laid in bed. I couldn't fall asleep. I kept trying to focus but my mind kept going to Paul. Why didn't I kiss him back? I should have. I mean I clearly wanted to. I know it hurts him. I could tell because I can feel his pain and emptiness.