I'm Here

chapter 6

I told Aaron about my dream. How I saw my mom. He could tell that I wasn't lying. I'm glad he didn't call me any names for crying. My mom told me that he had good in him. That made me smile. Her voice. She was so full of care and love. I miss her so much.
"God Aaron," I cried, "I miss her so much?"
He wrapped his arms around me, "I know Emma. I know."
I cried into his shoulder and he just rubbed my back.
Aaron pov
All i could do was be there for her. The people that she was with before treated her like a wild animal. No bed, no food, maybe some water, no love, no care. It's all bull shit if you ask me.
Do I think she deserves better?
Yes, way better.
Does she deserve me?
I'm not sure, it's not safe here.
Do I care for her?
Honestly I think I care more about her than I should. She doesn't have to know that though. She laid next to me last night. I kept my arm around her and kissed her cheek. I looked at her lips as they curled to a smile. She fell asleep. I stayed up all night. Right next to her. Making sure that she would be OK. Then I saw a tear fall from her cheek. My heart started to race. I hated when she cried. It made me feel like it was all my fault. I lifted her up and tried to wake her. More tears came down her cheeks. Bad dream. She needed to wake up but nothing was happening.
"Emma," I shook, "Emma wake up please. Wake up."
Nothing. No response. A few moments later her eyes shot open and she looked at me. I'm sure I looked worried. I was. She flung her arms around me.
"God Aaron," she cried, "I miss her so much?"
I wrapped my arms around her, "I know Emma. I know."
I do hope that she knows. I do care about her. A lot. It must have been her mom. She was probably talking to her and then woke in the middle of it. I wonder what was happening. I won't ask. It would be an impolite thing to do. She kept her arms around my neck and cried. My dad was still sleeping. He wouldn't be up for a couple more hours. She pulled away and I cupped her cheek. she shut her eyes and laid into it. I wiped the other tears away with my free hand.
"Just lay down," I whispered, "it's OK. Everything's fine."
"I saw my mom," she sniffled, "it's my dream. I saw her. She talked to me. It was so... so real. She told me that you have good in you. That you really care about me. Is that true?"
"..." I couldn't find the words, "...yes of course."
She looked down, "I have something else to tell you. I haven't told you everything."
I scrunched my eyebrows at her.
What does she mean?
"Once my mom died my dad went crazy. He blamed everything on me and started abusing me. On his birthday he did a few things to me that will never be forgotten. He raped me. Then he...he...made me give him a um blow job. After that he sold me," she explained, "the man that bought me had a son your age. Jack. He told me that he cared about me. Told me that he would never hurt me. The first night was a blur. Everything was fine. Then I woke up the next morning. He busted in the room. Chained my hands and feet to the bed. He to raped me. Twice. That's why I don't trust anyone right now. I don't feel like I can. No one. I'm just so insecure. I've been called and slut, whore, fat, ugly and then he came along with calling me beautiful. Pretty. I don't know what to believe. I don't even know myself."
Tears gathered in her eyes and fell down her cheeks.
"Emma," I said, "don't think that you're in secure. You are. Beautiful. You are pretty. You are NOT a slut, whore, fat or ugly. If anything you're to skinny and need to eat a lot. Now all I can tell you right now is that none of those other people deserve you. I'm here for you now. I won't hurt you. I will never rape you or kiss you without consent. Shoot I won't even touch you inappropriately. You have every right to not trust anyone. You're scared," I just kept naming things off, "I understand that. Right now there is nothing to be afraid of. As long as you are with me you're safe."
Her eyes stayed locked on mine the entire time I talked to her. She smiled at the end and looked down. I pushed the hair behind her ear and out my thumb under her chin. I lifted up.
"I care to much," I said, "to let something happen to you."
I looked at her lips and then back at her eyes. I didn't want her to think that I was taking advantage of her so I stopped myself.
"It's ok," she whispered, "I think we want the same thing to happen."
I looked back at her and I smiled. I leaned closer to her and she shut her eyes. Our lips touched and then I pulled away. I didn't want to make it to long. Her eyes opened and she smiled.
"That was real," I smiled, "not a fake kiss."
She nodded and I pulled her closer to me. She was scared at first. Tensed up. Thought I would hurt her. Nope. I will never, ever hit her. I held on to her waist and made sure she was close. I didn't want her to leave my side. The last time my dad brought a girl home this happened. My dad beat me and as soon as she had the chance, she left. She ran out. I thought that she was different, I guess not.
"I won't hurt you," i said, "I promise that and I intend to keep that promise."
She smiled and relaxed a bit. She laid her head on my chest and closed her eyes. She's mine. I'm glad that she didn't leave me when she had the perfect opportunity.
"How do you feel?" She asked
"Better, " I smiled, "thanks to you."
She chuckled and looked down.
"Well I'm glad you feel better," she said.
"Hey," I lifted her chin up, "what's wrong?"
"I'm scared," she whimpered, "scared that your dad will make you hurt me. Scared that you'll hurt me just because. Sca-
"Em," I interrupted, "I won't let anything happen to you. If I have to hurt you I won't. I'll get hurt instead of you. I promise you that. You don't have to be scared. Just play along with it."
I wiped a tear away from her cheek and she looked back down. I lifted her back up and kissed her forehead.
"And that's a promise that I am willing to keep," I smiled.
She sniffled and smiled.