I'm Here

chapter 7

Emma pov
After he told me that I felt safe. I felt like he really did care. I hope he does care, I really do. I think that I'm starting to get feeling for him. Actual feelings, the ones that you get when you're in...love!
Do I really love him?
No way, not possible.
I hate having arguments with myself about stuff like this.
Do I or do I not?
Yes or no?
I sat next to him and he kissed my forehead. That image kept replaying in my mind. Every time I thought of it I smiled. Slut. Such a slut. Attention whore. My mind kept saying. My dad had actually said this to me last year on my birthday.
Eenie meenie mini moe, you ain't nothing but a hoe, you think you're cute, you think you're classy, newsflash bitch you're fucking nasty.
That little song stayed with me all those days. It haunts me. I can't take it. I stood up.
"Hey what's wrong?" He stood after me
"You don't care," I shook my head, "you only say that to make me feel better," I started to yell, "you don't care! No one ever does! No one ever did! No one ever will! I'm so stupid!" I quieted down, "eenie meenie Mini moe you ain't nothing but a hoe...you think you're cute you think you're classy new flash bitch you're fucking nasty," I repeated it, "I hate myself, I shouldn't even be here. I ca-
"Emma stop," he said, "none of that is true."
He stood by the door. I tried to move him but I couldn't. I started hitting him. I could tell that it hurt.
"Come on," i cried, "fight back. Hit me back."
"I won't hit you," he winced, "I promised that and I will keep it no matter what."
I stopped.
"You meant that?" I asked.
"Yes I did," he coughed, "every single ounce of it. And you are not a hoe, a whore a slut. None of it is true. Emma you deserve evert second here. You just don't deserve what is happening right now. You're right you shouldn't be here and I can help you leave. But you just know that whatever happened in the past is the past. I won't bring it up unless you do."
"I don't want to leave," I cried, "I don't want to leave you. "
He didn't say anything. There was a pause. A silent Moment. He looked down and I wrapped my arms around him.
"I care to much," I sighed.
I felt him set his chin on top of my head and his arms went around my body. There was a banging on the door. It startled both of us.
"Get on the ground and act hurt," he whispered.
I got on the ground and started to cry a little louder and harder. I found a knife. I grabbed it and cut my cheek and arm. He got down besides me and out his arm up. I flinched away and his dad walked in.
"That's my boy," he laughed, "go ahead hit her."
"I would rather do it alone," he said, "if you don't mind. I like it when it's just me and her."
His dad nodded and left smiling. Jack swung his hands together to make it sound like he smacked me. I screamed. He stood and locked the door again. He helped me up.
"You cut youself?" He said, "why?"
"I don't want you to get hurt," i said, "and if I didn't have a bit of blood on me he would be swinging on you right now."
"Don't hurt yourself to help me," he scowled, "don't. It isn't worth it."
His hand went up and I flinched away. It landed on my shoulder.
"I won't hit you," he sighed, "Emma look at me."
I looked at him.
"I won't hurt you," he said, "I promise."
I shook my head and he knelt besides me.
"Why don't you believe me?" He asked.
"It's happened before," I sniffled, "I want to trust you. I just can't bring myself to it," by now tears filled my eyes, "it want to but I can't. In the end I just get hurt. I know it."
I felt his arms wrap around me. I flinched again. He rubbed my back after I relaxed.
"It's ok," he whispered, "it's ok. But you won't get hurt. If you ever do I'll be there to help you. Save you. I care Emma. I will never hurt you. Never. Please just understand that. You don't have to flinch away," he kept talking, "you don't have to be scared of me. I promise you that. I will never, ever do something to you."
I pulled away and looked at him. He cupped my cheek and I leaned into it.
"Promise?' I asked.
"Yes Emma I promise," he smiled.
I sniffled and he smiled. His lips touched my forehead. I breathed out and smiled. He wiped away the rest of my tears and stood up. He walked out and shut the door. My heart started to race. Please don't hurt me. Please don't come back mad. Please please please. I'm begging. A few minutes later I heard a loud bang and I screamed. My ears started ringing. There was a third on the door and then a sliding noise. Aaron?
I ran to the door and opened he was laying on the ground. I gaped and fell to his side. He was covering his side. I took his hand away and saw blood. Treats filed my eyes and I pulled him into the room. I ran to the bathroom and grabbed towels. I searched for gauze and body wraps. Finally I found them. I was already scared. I ran back to the room and cut off his shirt. Holy abs. I put a towel over it.
"Pressure," I said, "ok?"
"O...k" he coughed.
I wiped away the tears on his cheeks and ran my fingers through his hair.
"I'll be right back," I said.
He nodded and i went back to the bathroom. I got a gallon of water and came back. He was laying flatly on the floor. I moved his hand and the towel. I poured water. He shouted.
"Sorry;" I said, "just trust me."
He nodded. I moved his hand again. Not as much blood. The bullet nicked his side. Luckily it didn't hit his hip or rib cage. I started to wrap gauze a few minutes later. His face was pale.
"when does your father go to bed? "I asked
"Thirty minutes and. .." he winced, "he'll be asleep."
I nodded. He needed a drink and food. He couldn't wait. I stood up and walked out. I walked down the stairs and into the kitchen.
"What are you doing?" His dad asked.
"Helping your son," I said startled, "told me if I didn't then when he got better he would hurt me. I don't want to be hurt."
He came up to me and hit my face. I moved as he hit me and he hit me again. I could taste blood. My lip was busted pen. My vision went blurry in my left eye. Probably swelling. He speed after a few more blows to my face. I made Aaron some soup and looked around for crackers. I found them and set them on the table. I got a bottle water and took everything upstairs. I kicked his door slightly and it shut.
"What happened?" He asked.
"Nothing," I sat besides him.
"No something happened," he sighed, "tell me."
"Your dad, " I said, "he hit me."
He shut his eyes.
"I'm so sorry Emma," he held his forehead, "I'm so sorry."
"Don't be sorry," I said, "just focus on being better."