𝑰𝑴𝑨𝑮𝑰𝑵𝑬𝑺 - måneskin

victoria de angelis

"Victoria her girlfriend ended her life, today is the funeral"

(Victoria's point of view)

***

I can't do this. I'm so not ready to say goodbye. I'm so not ready to let my girlfriend go, forever. Gina had a rough time, her parents didn't want to see her anymore, for literally no reason. She thought no one loved her. It became too much for her. And now I'm standing in front of the mirror, forced to say goodbye to my girlfriend.

I'm wearing the dress, Gina loved the most. Thomas walks in, a whole red face of crying. We all are having a rough time, not only me. "She would love seeing you in this dress". Thomas wears a black suit, and no make-up. "I can't Thomas, I don't want to let her go", I sob against his chest and he tries to hold his tears. "I know, we all don't want to let her go". Gina was important to the whole band, she was the sunshine. Until a year ago, she started having burn outs.

I'm shaking, of crying. The whole way to the funeral I've been crying, looking at my speech. "Ethan?", he drives the car, but I think his sight is covered with tears. "C-can you do m-my speech if I don't want a-anymore". I lay against Damiano his chest, his tears fall on my forehead. Throught the little mirror I see Ethan trying to avoid new tears, "Of course I'll Vic".

Her parents came, which made me so angry. I blame everything on them. "Vic no, Gina wouldn't wanted this". Damiano stops me when I want to walk towards her. "They can't be here, they can't". "It's their daughter", Damiano takes me in his arms and lets me cry. "It's their fault, it's their fault she's gone". They organization asked me for the music, so I told them a few of Gina her favorite songs. When I hear one of them I fall on the ground, on my knees.

"'Cause you're the reason I believe in fateYou're my paradiseAnd I'll do anything to be your love, or be your sacrifice'Cause I love you for infinity(Oh, oh, oh)I love you for infinity(Oh, oh, oh)'Cause I love you for infinity"

Ethan catches me, and wraps his arms around my back. "She is gone, she is gone", I sob. I can't believe my girl, the love of my life is gone, and never coming back. "Calm down, than you can do your speech", Ethan sobs quietly with me.

Someone I don't know is telling something about Gina, before they ask me to hold my speech, I look at Ethan, who is still sobbing a little. I breath deep in and out. Ethan grabs my hand, I squeeze in it and look at my speech, some letter are gone because of my tears, but I still can read everything I wrote.

"Hi Gina, no one believed us when we said we it was love at first sight. But we both know it was, everytime I saw you I felt butterflies", I stop and bite on my own teeth to avoid the tears, my whole body is shaking. "All the beautiful memories we have together, I will never try to forget them", I close my eyes and breath deep in and out.

"When I was standing on our balcony, you would wrap your arms around me and we would look at Rome together", I look at Gina her parents, they are looking at the ground, tears in their eyes. "When I was sad, you would cuddle and kiss me until I felt better". Ethan rubs on my back, I hear him sobbing.

"When the band and I had a mental breakdown because we rehearsed too much, you were there to distract us with your crazy version of truth or dare". I smile by the memory of my girlfriend jumped of the stairs and not even breaking her legs. Thomas and Damiano smile, probably by the same memory.

"Gina, I have so much more to tell you but-", I stop and hide my face in Ethan his chest, sobbing. The last sentence is the hardest one for me. "Shall I continue", he takes over the little paper while I still hide my crying face in his chest.

"Gina, I have so much more to tell you, but I think you already know", Ethan holds his tears. "Gina, I love you. No one will ever take your place. I love you forever Gina". Ethan squeezes in my hair to finish the speech without crying. "My life will be empty, but I'll survive, just like you wanted. I'll miss you, my angel". In my head I finish the speech with him.

He drops the speech and wraps both his arms around me. This was also the first time for him to see the speech. "It was beautiful, Vic". I walk back to Thomas and Damiano, who overload me with hugs. "It was beautiful".

As I said, my life will be empty without Gina. But I lied when I said I'd survive, because I'm not sure about that. I don't know if I will survive. I don't know if I'll be able to live without her.

*Victoria posts an old picture of her and Gina*

Maneskinofficial, giorgiasoleri_ and 5.390.288 other liked this photo

Vicdeangelis: My life will be empty without you Gina. I'll miss you, I'll miss you every day.

I love you forever my angel.

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omg you have no idea how hard I cried, writing this one :(