MENDING - Rayaari FanFic

Part 5 - Reality

Raya couldn't even immediately move as her eyes were fixated on her Ba and Dalia kissing. She felt a wave of nausea and shock and she tried taking a deep breath and moving away before she was seen. She returned to the table and tried to seem as normal as possible. She shivered as she sat down and Namaari said, "Is he on the way?"

"Uh...yeah."

Raya couldn't help but feel sickened by what she saw. It's not that she hated Dalia. She could never hate her but what made her hurt was the fact that her mother was very loving before she died when Raya was 8. She was so attached to her mother and after her death, her place of refuge to soothe the pain she felt was in her father's arms. Since then, she got so close to Chief Benja and seeing him with another woman brought her pain. A tear streamed from her eye and Namaari saw and was pretty shocked.

"Raya, what's wrong?" asked Namaari.

Raya was bottling and hiding her emotions so the moment someone cared for her for her to let it all out, she would just break down. Namaari's soothing voice and the question made her feel all the tears starting to saturate her eyes even more. She took a deep breath and said, "Namaari, we can talk about this later. I don't want to right now...please." She ended her plea in a whisper.

"Okay." Said Namaari.

After a while, Chief Benja and Dalia arrived. The Chief greeted Raya with a hug and Raya forced a smile. While lunch was served, Raya kept her hand at her jaw and she clearly looked bothered by something. She didn't eat anything at all. Her appetite was completely disturbed. She excused herself from the table and went to her room where she broke down in tears. She couldn't control her emotions anymore. Everything was just happening so quickly. Her crying was audible and a servant who was passing by and heard went to alert Benja.

Chief Benja went to her room and opened her door. The Chief was shocked as he has never seen Raya cry that much. He closed the door and said, "Dewdrop? What is wrong?"

She didn't respond and he sat beside her and said, "Raya, tell me what is wrong."

Through her tears, she said, "Ba...I... I just can't handle this." 

"Can't handle what?"

Raya didn't respond and just kept crying. Chief Benja allowed her to relieve her pent up emotions and after a while, she said, "I'm...I'm okay Ba." 

She didn't want to just blurt out how she felt about seeing him and Dalia showing affection.

"You're not, Raya."

"I just don't want to talk about this, not now." replied Raya.

"Are you sure?"

"Yes Ba."

Chief Benja hugged her and said, "I'll give you space. Take everything one step at a time and I'm always here when you need me."

"Thank you, Ba."

"Anytime, my dewdrop." replied the Chief.

He left her room and softly closed the door. Raya lied there just thinking about everything. It all seemed to be happening so quickly. Her feelings for Namaari, Dalia and her father...her mood contrasted what she expected. Instead of having lots of fun, it's like everything was ruined. It wasn't long before someone knocked on her door.

"Who is it?" said Raya, hoping she was loud enough for whoever was outside her room to hear.

"It's Namaari, may I enter?"

Raya's heart skipped a beat and she felt a little ray of happiness deep inside her. 

"Sure" replied Raya

Namaari entered but Raya's back faced the door and she didn't move from that position. Namaari went next to her and placed a hand on her shoulder. "Raya, tell me what's wrong."

Raya took a deep breath and sat up. She kept her head down and Namaari held her hand and used the other to cup her cheek. This ignited a flame inside of Raya. Feeling Namaari being so affectionate towards her brought her so much warmth, but it also melted more of her emotions and she began sobbing again. Namaari wiped away her tears and said, "It's okay, I'm here for you."

Raya got her tears under control and said, "I...I feel so overwhelmed. When I went to...get my Ba before lunch, I saw him kissing one of the servants. What hurts me is, my mom was so amazing...but she died when I was 8 years old. I saw the love she shared with Ba...and to see another woman in her place breaks my heart so much."

Namaari sighed and said softly, "Raya, I understand. I know your mom has a special place in your heart but unfortunately she's no longer here...for...10 years now. And I know that there's truly no replacement that matches her but also think about how your Ba feels. I'm sure he loves and misses her but no one can stay in pain forever. That new woman probably reminds him so much of his wife and shows the love she showed but at the same time, I do understand how hurt you are and it's not easy to move on from something like that."

Raya hated what Namaari said but she knew it was the truth. Living in grief forever isn't something pleasant and learning to accept the reality is something that has to happen to not be depressed and sad.

"I know but...I...I just wish hadn't seen that."

"I understand. But as I said earlier, you can talk to me about anything. I may not be able to change the situation but I'll try to keep you happy." said Namaari.

Raya blushed and said, "Thank you so much Namaari..."

"Anytime, Raya."

Raya hesitated for a moment but proceeded to hug Namaari. Namaari gladly returned the affection and said, "My mother would like to speak with you. Are you okay enough now?"

"Yeah, I think so."

"Alright, let's go." Said Namaari.

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