Hailee Steinfeld imagines

Martini In The Yard - Part 3

A/N: Oh well, here's part 3.. it's a long one, so kick up your feet and enjoy the ride.
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Y/N's POV
"Sweetie, are you okay?" Due to my inability to speak, I just nodded my head. "Don't lie to me. I can see the gears turning in your head. Now, please tell me what's on your mind."

I'm officially fucked. What do I tell her?! How am I supposed to answer that? Oh you know, I'm just thinking about how you are the most stunning woman I've ever met, no big deal. My god, Y/N, get your shit together!

"Umm.. I don't know.. I uhmm-" I tried so hard to come up with something, but my brain chose this moment to stop working.

"Seriously, Y/N, are you okay? Is something wrong?" Hailee spoke softly, as she placed her hand on top of mine, making me tense up slightly, "Okay, what's with you? Why are you so jumpy?"

"Can we please just drop it? Let's watch a movie," I replied, my gaze fixed on the dog in my lap.

"Okay, I'm not gonna force you to say anything," Hailee sighed softly and turned on the tv, "but if you do wanna talk, I'm here." She scrolled through the movie collection, eventually picking out some random girly movie.

-

After that day, everything was downright awkward. Hailee seemed to pull away from me, and I knew it was my fault. I had messed up. Isn't that just great. The one good friend I have, and I ruined it. Nice job, Y/N. 

When I had gotten home the evening after we last hung out, I knew that things would be difficult. And they were. We didn't talk the next day, or the day after, or the entire week after that.

I was back to being lonely and I spent my time indoors, in my room, not even wanting to get out of bed. Why did I have to ruin it? Why didn't I just tell her the truth? What's the worst that could've happened? She could reject you and tell you to stay the hell away from her. Fair enough, but what if she didn't. What if she was okay with it? What if she even felt the same? Yeah right, and pigs can fly. Why do you gotta attack me like that?! I'm just saying, Hailee is out of this world and you.. well, you're you.

I felt the tears running down my face, as the voices in my head kept screaming at each other. But it was true. I had ruined my friendship with Hailee. The only person who made me feel like, maybe in some way I could feel like I belonged. Everyone else in my life has made my life a living hell. But Hailee.. Hailee was different. She never once made me feel like I had to hide who I was. But I still did. Why? You know Hailee, she would never have judged you. Who cares if she feels the same, she would still accept you. Oh my goodness, what have I done? I pushed her away. I have to fix it.

-

I panted hard as I reached the floor, where Hailee's apartment was. My heart pounded in my chest and I felt like I could pass out right then and there.

*Knock-Knock*
It didn't take long, before the door opened. There she was. The confusion in her face mixed with the hurt in her eyes, made my heart shatter.

"Y/N?" Hailee's voice was raspy and it sounded like she had been crying.

"Hailee, I have to talk to you," I said desperately, "Please.. I've been an idiot, okay? You have every right to be mad at me, but please let me explain," Her hazel eyes were locked on mine as I spoke, "All I ask is that you let me explain why I did what I did. If you then want me to leave, then I'll do that. But please, just let me explain."

Hailee didn't say anything, she just stepped aside, opening the door enough for me to step inside. I slowly walked into the apartment, the nerves getting worse with every step.