~Sugar Daddy~

Months later.. - 25

~*~*~ 3 Months later ~*~*~

I was getting ready for work when I heard the doorbell ring, "coming" I yell walking down the stairs, I opened the door, "hey!" Tobi exclaims, hugging me "hey..." I greet back "going to work?" "Yeah, what's up?" I close the door "I just wanted to hang out" she shrugs "why?" I question "what do you mean?" she asks "why would you want to hang out after what happened to Mason?".

"I-"

"He's dead Tobi, we saw his body together, how are you ok? You don't feel bad? Or sorrow?"

"I am, but you've been through  so much I thought I could there for you"

"Right?"

"S-sorry I guess you're still upset about Cameron"

"I'm not, just stressed out at work plus I can't stop thinking about Mason" mostly seeing him dead.

"I know how you feel, but Eric are you sure you don't know where Cam could've gone"

I was thinking about telling Tobi what really happened to Mason, I just can't keep it to myself anymore but then I see a red blinking light in her coat pocket, the same light from the tape recorder, she didn't come here for me she came to get evidence that Cam killed Mason, which he did but I still love him too much to turn him into the police, "no I don't know, how many times do I have to say that" I respond coldly "sorry" she looks down upset but I'm much more upset than her, she dares to come into my home and record me, "I need to go to work, so if you could leave that would be great" I grab my bag she was surprised and hurt by my words, "I just wanted to talk to you" I scoff and pull the tape recorder from her pocket "really, you wanted to talk to me?! Or go behind my back? He didn't do it, ok! So leave me alone!" I yell and push her out of my house then slam the door; I sigh and look at the recording box, why did he have to leave me? Why did he hurt me? I hate him so much "damn it" I yell out "I hate you?" I begin crying, fuck I'm so tired of crying about him "you asshole... why!" I fall down the door and buck my knees into my chest, then cry a little harder.

WARNING SELF HARM

After work, I was completely drained, both physically and mentally, I don't want to live like this anymore, I hate that everything still smells like him, I've tried to cover up the smell with febreeze and every other freshener but it never goes away.

I've been cutting myself again, I know Cam doesn't like it but it's my only escape from all this pain I feel; I go upstairs and into my bathroom, I take out a razor from my drawer, I lift my sleeve, and grip the razor in my hand as I stare down my wrist, 1,2,3,4,5... 5 cuts added to my collection of pain. I watch as the blood rolls down my wrist and into the sink, I notice it bleeding more than what I expected. I quickly bandage it up and throw the bloody razor, I don't want to stay here anymore, I go downstairs and open one of the drawers I find the plane tickets, obviously, they were expired but I had to make a choice, I want to go to New Zealand and have a chance to see him again, or go back to America in risk of being hated and hurt by everyone again.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

It's been 5 months (sorry for all the time skips) I decided to move to New Zealand, I can't believe I actually went, there's been no sign of Cameron yet but everywhere I go there's a tall white guy and looks the same so sometimes I get my hopes up when I see a guy with dirty blond hair but at the same time I'm kinda scared to see him again, does he even want to see me?

I was at the store, which was quite empty, as I walked around I spotted another guy. I thought it couldn't be him until he turned his head. I recognized that chiseled jaw anywhere. It was actually Cam. This time I was excited and never at the same time. I'm having mixed feelings about this, I want to hug him and slap him at the same time, my heart raced as I walked up to him, he notices me "Eric?" I slapped him... "ow, I see you clearly hate me," he says in a sad voice placing his hand on his cheek, "not exactly," I say looking to his blue eyes, he tilts his head slightly, "if I hated you, I wouldn't have flown here and stayed here for 5 months hoping to see you again," I state quickly still thinking I'm dreaming, he couldn't be right in front of me, is he?