Dork.

End

Sunday arrives quickly, and the four of us are waiting in the room of the entertainment building nervously. 

There was a sign outside reading "Cre.ker Entertainment". I've never heard of it before, but my mom was right in the sense that the staff have been really nice. 

We all bounce our knees nervously, but I can tell Kevin is the most anxious. That means this is really important to him so I have to do everything I can to help him.

"Kevin Moon?" Someone with a clipboard comes out of the music room as another guy leaves the room looking glum.

"Yes," He stands up, picking up his guitar. Kevin glances at us once before going into the room.

"God I'm so nervous for him." I say to Changmin and Chanhee. 

"I'm sure he'll do great." Changmin says.

"I'm sure he will... but isn't a part of you wishing they don't pick him?" Chanhee asks.

"Why?" I ask.

"you know idols don't see family much throughout the year- let alone their friends. I hear they lose contact with pretty much everyone that they used to value. The music industry can also be pretty soul crushing." Chanhee points out.

I swallow. I knew these things in the back of my head, but I didn't really register them, thinking Kevin would never abandon family. 

"That's true I guess." I say. "But this is really important to him, and I know he's gonna give it his all anyways so we might as well support him."

Chanhee nods, but a look in his eyes also makes me slightly nervous. 

A few minutes later Kevin comes out grinning to himself.

"How was it?" I get up and he links hands with me. 

"it was great. There were people and I preformed in front of them!" He says. "I really like performing I think!"

I smile at his smile. I hope this works out for him.

_____

Timeskip: less than a year later.

As I unpack my bags, my roommate and I play music. Ever since Kevin and I began attending UBC (University of British Columbia in Canada), life has been great. I'm far away from my mom, and kevin closer to his family.

It was a miracle both of us got in, but we jumped at the opportunity and accepted it together. We've been here for like four days. Classes are just starting up, but other than that we enjoy having dorms next to each other and sharing the same psychology class.

I was so afraid of breaking up before college, but the way it worked out so well tells me that it's fate for us to be together.

A knock at the door causes my roommate to pause the music and I walk to open the door.

Kevin is standing there, looking happy and a bit sad, but mostly happy,

"What is it??" I ask.

"I- they- They called me back!!" He exclaims. 

"What? Who called you back?" I ask, stepping into the hallway and closing the door behind me. 

"The company I auditioned for like a year ago. They want me to be their trainee, they said they could almost guarantee my debut!" He says, happiness radiating from his voice.

"Oh my gosh!" I exclaim, and he grasps my hands, his smile faltering a bit. "This is so amazing!" I say when he lets go.

"A dream come true" Kevin says, his smile fading.

"You don't sound so happy?" I examine his face.

"We'll they said I could debut in the group in such short notice under some strong ground rules." He explains.

"Okay...?"

"I really- gosh I don't know how to say this," Kevin says, I know something is wrong because he's speaking to me without looking me in the eye.

"You can tell me anything" I reassure him, squeezing his hand.

Kevin takes a deep shaky breath, "... we have to break up"

except that. You could tell me anything except that.

"W-what?" I ask, my smile fading.

"They said that... that it would be too hard to keep up with schedules and relationships so it's better to end it in person while you still can." He says, choking up  a bit

"When is your- I mean when are you leaving?" I ask.

"They booked a flight for tomorrow." 

I feel a sharp pain in my chest, like the wind got knocked out of me. 

"I can tell them I won't. I can turn them down," Kevin says. I look up at him, the disappointment in his voice when he says that.

"No," I say, holding back tears. "You have to do this. You have this opportunity that you deserve. You can't turn it down."

He nods, and neither of us are sure what to do or say next. Because we're technically about to not be a couple, but we want to savor the last moments we are.

"Wanna go to the beach?" Kevin asks.

I examine his face, sad and worried eyes, but I also hear the hope in his voice. And I told myself I would help him succeed, at whatever. And now is that chance for me to do that.

"Absolutely."

We drive an hour to the beach, by the time we get there it's sunset. We get out of the car hand in hand. We walk closer to the shore, the beach is nearly empty as it's beginning to be fall again. The sun's colors reflect on the water, it's a beautiful sight for such a bittersweet day.

I don't know how long we sat there on the sand listening to the waves. I wish it could be forever though.

I look up at him, surprised to see silent tears dripping down his face, reflecting the hues of the sky.

I wipe the tears from his face. "It's alright, it's gonna be okay." I say, not knowing if I believe that myself. "It's going to be great," I say, because that I'm sure of. I'm sure he'll succeed and I'm sure he'll be happy pursuing music. 

He nods, and I lean on his shoulder so he won't see the tears of my own. If he knows of my disappointment of this he won't do it. He'll throw away the once in a lifetime chance to actually chase your dreams. I'll be a distant memory.

____

timeskip: 2 years

Watching Kevin on vLive makes me tear up. Not just because I miss him but because there are thousands of people watching and appreciating his smile and talents.

I play it in the background while doing some homework when I look up to focus on the video again.

"'Where did I learn this?'" Kevin reads off a comment in english. "Someone very important taught me before I left to pursue my career"

I squint a bit to see but whatever he's doing is off camera currently.

"'Who?'" Kevin reads off. "Hmm. Someone as important as the sun is to the moon. The most important person to me"

Kevin holds up his finished product to the screen, and at the sight of a delicate mint and yellow beaded bracelet- I can't help tear up. He remembers. I'm not a distant memory, he remembers me as much as I remember him. Because I'm still not over him. 

I used to wonder what would've happened if he didn't become an idol. For one we would still be together. But he also would miss out on meeting and making music with his amazing bandmates. And the world deserves to know Kevin and his talents.

So now instead of thinking what could've been if he hadn't became an idol, I think what did happen. How I was so lucky to have found someone to help me. How lucky I am to feel better than before I met him. I honestly couldn't be more thankful to have met Kevin Moon, someone with the greatest impact on my life and whom I'll never forget.

-end-