!!! SECOND BOOK OF THE CROW AND THE CROWN SERIES !!!
!!! WATCH OUT FOR SPOILERS !!!
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Fallon Crow -now Fallon Aeden Ravia- will have to adjust to her new life. Her life in Aeden as queen and wife to Raze Aeden.
Their traumatizing past k...
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( POV: FALLON AEDEN RAVIA )
I've been laying with my head against the hard table for about fifteen minutes now. Madam Eira is next to me, worried for my well-being just like Lewis. Both of them have been at my side like I'm a bomb that's about to go off.
Lewis thinks this will trigger me. He read the letter, psychoanalyzed it, and came up with some sort of profile for Deimos. He's been explaining to Raze what he thinks Deimos wants to achieve.
He thinks that Deimos wants to use my miscarriage as a trigger. Like he 'gave' Sani to me.
"It's clear that he wanted Fallon to attach to that child. After losing a baby she would've been more susceptible to accept the kid as a replacement for what she lost. That's what he's counting on. That she'll come back for him because of her motherly instincts."
Madam Eira sighs, "In your opinion... Did that happen?"
"No," he replies. "But he seemed to have overlooked the fact that she's actually a good person and that she'll try to save them nonetheless. All of you for that matter, you're all getting ready for something that's quite clearly a trap. He's counting on that."
I'm right here but they're talking like I'm miles away. It's not that surprising since I've been quiet and motionless for so long. I need to walk, this anxious tingling inside of me is becoming too much.
I rush up and step towards the kitchen. No one is here so I can panic the way I want to. Being alone is exactly what I need right now.
The rush of thoughts and feelings going through me is taking a toll on me. I place my palms on the cold marble countertop, leaning against it to keep myself from falling.
My guilt is taking over. I promised Sani, Astraea, all the others, I promised that I would save them, that I would come back for them and I didn't.
Instead, I'm going to therapy sessions with Lewis to heal myself. I don't deserve that. I don't deserve to feel good about myself while they're struggling because of me. I don't get to be sad because of what happened when a five-year-old child is probably being tortured.
"Breathe, Fallon," I murmur to myself. "Just breathe." We're going to save them. All of them. I don't care what the cost of that is. Well, I do care. I'm going to save them but I'm also going to protect the people I love.
I know what I need to do, I just don't know if I have the strength to do it.
Blue mug, sweet rolls from this morning, Maia's toy.
The water dripping, the clock ticking, the voices coming from outside the kitchen.
I move my fingers, my neck, and my shoulders.
I keep repeating this until that nausea disappears until the hefty weight on my chest recedes. It's something Lewis taught me. The 3-3-3 rule for anxiety and panic attacks. It's distracting and it works.
