Morons and Monarchs

Chapter Thirty-Nine: Garbhan 👩‍👦

Mommy left again.

I don't know where she goes, but I feel like she is never there. Even if I know she is. She just doesn't feel as much like a mother as my Nanny does.

But Nanny doesn't like me much. At least, I don't think she does. She always does this weird hand motion for me to shut up while I am speaking to her, or when I can't go to bed and she thinks I am doing it on purpose.

That when I crawl into Mommy's bed, I am just being needy. How am I supposed to explain to Nanny that when I do so it is not because I am 'clingy', or just trying to be a brat, but rather something else. The feeling of being safe. Sometimes, I hide under Mommy's covers, that way the monsters can't see me. They leave me alone for the most part after that.

The only reasons these monsters have not reached me is because of the three rules.

If you can't see the monster, the monster cannot see you.

If the monster makes an odd noise, just make an even weirder sound and BOOM you are now the dominant, you have conquered the beast.

Monsters are not born, they are made (As Mommy always says), so if I can talk to them without peeing the bed, then maybe they will not be a monster anymore. Maybe they were once like me.

I don't follow number three that much, Nanny doesn't like cleaning my bedsheets afterwards. Though I don't know what the fuss is all about, you just have to throw them in the water and let them soak with the soap, maybe run it across a board a few times, but nothing too tiring. I think she is just lazy.

My pillow is super fluffy today, I fluffed it, and now I feel like my head is laying on a cloud. But then I remember that clouds are in the sky, and the sun is in the sky, and Icarus from Nanny's bedtime story flew too close to the sun. I punch my pillow a few times to try to get it flat. I don't want to burn to death.

A door clicks open... I listen closely to how the floorboards creak, trying to decipher if it is the dragging footfalls of Nanny or the sure, almost silent footsteps of Mommy.

I almost hear nothing.

I quickly shut my eyes and started moving them behind my lids, evening my breath, and hugging my blankets tighter.

My door opens, and I don't dare breathe too loud. They will never know I am still awake.

"Sorry, my dearest Garbhan," My Mommy's silken voice reaches me. Mommy is a Laritione, I believe. Whihc means my father must be Tomairsitkiz, since I am pure Laritione save for the powers and purple veins crawling up my hands and wrists.

"Sorry about what?" I ask. Trying to make my voice so small that it sounds like I am still asleep.

Mommy chuckles, and I want to smile, but I bite the inside of my cheeks to keep from giving myself away. Nobody will know I am awake.

"Well, I left for one. And without telling you. I had to meet up with your friend. Thanatos."

"Can Thanatos be my father?" I ask Mommy, opening my eyes.

Her smile from before fades almost as quickly as it came. "Garbhan, Thanatos is your friend."

"He is like a father to me." Is all I say. My voice is smaller now.

"Garbhan," Mommy says warningly. I don't heed it.

"But can he at least claim me as his child?" I ask incessantly.

She pauses. "Yes, but he may not want to."

"He will once I tell him." I say.

Once I told him about all those kids. I think my girlfriend is cheating on me with Fred, the bully who keeps calling me a bastard. And my girl likes him more, he is not even half as charming as me. And he pulls back his blond, shaggy hair (Which looks like the top of a Bwardipuginin's mushroom to begin with) back in an ugly ponytail with a ribbon to tie it. A ribbon that looks as if it was dug out of the rubbish bins. And not only that, but his clothes never match. They may be more expensive than mine, but orange and green do not go well together. Especially paired with suspenders and khaki pants.

Not to mention he does not have a gentleman mouth, like I do. And he does not own a bowtie, which I do. Mommy says it makes me look handsome. And the way he speaks. You would think of him as a girl gossiping with how he just yells across the street with a stage whisper "BASTARD!" whenever I am around.

I hate it. How the word is whispered throughout the streets, and Mommy knows all about it. Yet she does not seem to worry.

"We shall see about that tomorrow, hon." She smoothes my blond hair back and kisses my forehead. "Also, Nanny told me earlier about that one kid who made fun of you on the way to the shoe place." I nod. He said I was a half-bred bastard born with a slut mother.

"I just wanted to remind you that you are indeed a half-bred," I frown and she smooths the furrow in my brow. "You are a god, a god of light. As most would love to be. But also a devil of darkness and fire. As most would shy away from. Wear not only your title of god, but intimidate with the power of your inner devil." She kisses my forehead. "Your heart has fractions. Let some remain in the light, ready to break but be built again stronger, immortal as the god within but also hurt so much you get stronger with every shard that breaks off. And the other half," She covers my heart with her hand. "You must let remain in the dark. That way, a part of you will remain only with you. Nobody can reach it except your soulmate, and even then, if they truly do love you, then they will have to work to bring that half into their own darkness within. Once that half of your heart has been in the dark for so long, you will start to appreciate even the smallest of things that gleam."

I nod. Once.

"Let nobody harm the dark part of your heart, and when the god in you shys away, bring your devil out and scare the monsters that hide within the light. Make them afraid. And when you are so hurt, go back to that darkness within you and let it console you with the stars. For nobody can make your stars burst except yourself."

I nod again.

She leaves and I dream.

I dream of the time I found Mommy in the gardens, alone. Her skirts billowing around her. I never saw her in anything but black, but this day she wore a dress of ivory and pink blooms embroidered along her skirt. She looked like a goddess that would save me from the monsters trailing behind me.

I asked her what she was doing, and she replied with:

"I am sitting amongst wise things,"

"You are sitting amongst flowers." I reply dryly as she cut off a bud with her long fingernail.

"I am sitting amongst things that will teach me the greatest lesson."

"How to cut people with their thorns?" I asked.

"No, Garbhan," She sighed. "How to open up."