Morons and Monarchs

Chapter Fifty: Viviendel (Sad chapter!)😭

(Little Author note here: When you read this chapter, I very well apologize... not, but ignore that!)

He is gone.

I awoke and he was not there. I waited, for about an hour, for him to come back. Pacing around and around my room, worrying my lip between my teeth like he once told me not to do. I paced for so long I forgot how many struts I did, how many steps I took, if it was an even number or not, which I always have to make sure. Because he wasn't there.

I don't know where he went, he is just not with me and that is a bad place to be. He is always there when I wake up, he is always next to me, always near me, always here for me.

I awoke, ready to tell him that I liked him. That I think I could possibly even love him, that this is more than just attraction, because I see him. I see how broken he truly is, I see how sad he can be, I see how devastated he must be when he is without me, and I mirror that. Like how I feel desolate inside because he is not here too. And yeah, I may be foolish and wrong, but I love him like Icarus loved the sun.

I love him too much, yet not enough. If he would burn me to ash, I would still fly up to him, just for those last consoling moments in his fiery arms.

I love him too close, way too close. So close I feel if I moved any closer my heart would tear away in two from my body, stretched out far enough between me and him, and I can't figure out how to hand it over just yet.

Maybe I don't. Maybe I am being a child, and what I think is love is actually just a corrupt version of escapism-

A knock sounds at the door, and I still.

"Viviendel," Azul chirps. "Are you decent?"

"Physically?" I called.

Azul pauses, "Of course..." His tone is almost questioning.

"Yes." I sit down on the edge of the bed, and Azul walks in.

He frowns at me, narrowing his eyes. "What other way is there?"

I try to laugh, but it comes out a breathy squeal instead. "Morally and mentally, maybe even emotionally." He looks at me like I am some puzzle he must solve, with kindness, or course. Azul can never be anything but kind.

"Morally?" He asks.

I scoff. "Very indecent."

"Emotionally?"

"Depends on the day."

"Mentally?"

"Probably the worst," I answered honestly, shrugging. "I am very indecent within my mind."

I shake my head when he opens his mouth to comment. He seems at a loss for words as I am. "How about you?" I ask instead.

"Hmm?" He hums.

"Emotionally, are you decent?" I question.

He laughs. "I am decent."

"Morally?"

" 'Depends on the day'." He quotes me, smiling his odd dolphin grin.

"Mentally?"

His smile wavers. "I am very indecent as well," I laugh.

I feel like Azul is the type of person who will take care of everybody else, but nobody takes care of him. He is the type of person who puts everybody else first and forgets about himself.

"What do the Queen's want?" I ask, yawning. I cross my legs, and my dress pools around my knees. I don't care if my mental, emotional, and morals aren't the only indecent thing about me.