The College JJ Series

don't doubt this, okay?

Summary: After a glimpse into his dating past, you're in a funk, but JJ assures you there's no reason to doubt your relationship.

We're going a little angsty/fluffy because I still can't decide on which TSwift song I want to use. Might just abandon that idea and write smut next lol — also sorry this is short

~

After Thanksgiving, you hit the ground running with school. You had two weeks of classes left before a week of finals, then you had a whole month off to relax, but you had to get there first.

With finals approaching, your social calendar was (thankfully) winding down. There were a few planned parties between now and the end of the semester, but no formal events you had to attend.

You're pouring all of your energy into school and spending a lot of time alone. Part of it was because you truly were focused on finishing the semester strong, but just as much of your reason for this was what JJ's ex had said at the bar on Thanksgiving Eve. You absolutely loathed the fact that you couldn't get what she said out of your mind. It's only a matter of time before he tosses you away like every other girl, Brooke had sneered. You keep wondering how long you have left.

JJ had noticed right away that something was up. You had insisted you were just starting to get stressed about finals, but he knew better. You were pulling away, and he couldn't figure out why.

He knew you kept things bottled up until you reached a tipping point, and he was worried. When he had told Brooke the two months he'd spent with you were the best two months of his life, he wasn't lying. He thought things were going well up to this point, but he's starting to think maybe he's read everything wrong.

The uncertainty makes the week drag for both of you. You're both tiptoeing around each other for different reasons, and it's making you feel anxious all the time.

"Hey," JJ says Friday afternoon as you walk back from campus together. "Do you have plans tonight?"

"No?" You aren't sure why it comes out as a question.

He seems to ignore it and nods. "Can we hang out? Just me and you?"

"Yeah, of course," you say. "Come over around 7:00? We can order dinner?"

"Yeah. I'll be at your place at 7:00."

The rest of the walk to your apartment is silent. Your stomach churns nervously as JJ gives you a quick departing peck on the lips before walking the additional two blocks to his apartment.

A million thoughts flood his mind over the next few hours. Was he not the boyfriend you hoped for? Did you not like him as much as you did when you first got together? Had he done something wrong? Was he not doing enough? His insecurities plagued him all afternoon as he waited out the hours until it was time to come to your place.

Two blocks down the road, your own insecurities are flaring. You worried you and JJ weren't on the same page. What you had felt for previous boyfriends didn't even compare to how you felt about JJ. In just two months time, he had captured your whole heart, and now that this seed has been planted that it may not last, you couldn't help but feel your heart break a little more each time the thought crossed your mind. You didn't regret your feelings for him, and you knew you couldn't fight them, but the idea of this just being a temporary fling definitely hurt.

At promptly 7:00 pm, there's a knock at your apartment door. You rise from the spot on the couch you'd been glued to for what seems like forever, knees creaking in protest from being curled up for so long. You open the door to see JJ standing there nervously, hands stuffed in his pockets as his teeth chew at his bottom lip.

"Hey," you say softly, opening the door wider to let him in.

"Hey," he responds in the same muted tone.

He comes inside, dropping his keys on the table by the door as he looks you up and down. You look even more withdrawn now than you did a few hours ago on your way back from classes.

"We need to talk," he says, and your stomach immediately sinks.

"Okay," you answer, your voice small. "Um, let's sit."

The two of you walk to the couch, and you let him choose his seat first. You leave a space between you as you sit down with him. He frowns at the space, looking up at you to meet your eyes.

"Why are things weird between us?" he asks, reaching out to cover your hand with his.

You grasp his hand, looking down at where you are joined. You give him a shrug, biting the inside of your cheek in an attempt to keep your emotions in check. You told yourself you weren't going to cry, but the sting of tears is already welling up behind your eyes.

His eyebrows furrow together. "It feels like you're pulling away from me and I don't know why. Did I do something? Was it too soon to do a holiday together? I thought going to Big John's—"

"No, no," you say quickly, cutting him off. "That was great. I really liked seeing him again."

"Then what is it?" he presses. "Are you mad at me for something?"

"No, I'm not mad. It's just..." you trail off and sigh, running a hand through your hair. "How much longer do I have with you?"

"What?" he asks, thoroughly confused. "I don't even know how to answer... What does that even mean?"

"Well, Brooke said—"

"This is about Brooke?" he asks. "She means nothing to me. I don't care what she said, she and I are never—"

"No, no, it's not about you getting back together. She said you weren't a serious relationship kind of guy, and that it was only a matter of time before you'd toss me away like the other girls. I just... I don't want to end up like the other girls, J."

His expression softens. "Why do you think you would?"

"She just seemed so sure..."

He shakes his head. "She doesn't know jack shit about me or how I feel about you."

The intensity in his voice makes your heart flutter. "Yeah?"

"Look, it's true that I've not really been in any serious relationships, but it's different with you." He pauses, searching for the right words. "The others were just casual, even Brooke. Six months with her is nothing compared to..." he pauses and looks down at his phone. "Two months and five days with you." You smile at the preciseness of his comment. "You make me really happy, y/n, I hope you know that."

"I'm really happy with you, too," you reply.

"Then don't doubt this, okay?" He tugs at your hand, signaling for you to close the gap between you. You scoot over and lean into his chest. He tucks your head under his chin. "I'm no expert here, but this is going pretty well, right?"

"I think so," you respond.

"Well, I know so," he says confidently. "And I can promise you that you aren't going to end up like those other girls."

You smile, snuggling deeper into his chest. "Good. I'm glad you want to keep me around."

"I'd be stupid not to."