Loving Cullen (Completed)

Kabanata 2

KABANATA 2

"Ang ganda netong manuscript mo Eishen, wala na bang mas igaganda pa to?"

Nag echo sa apat na sulok ng opisina ang boses na iyon ni Chicky, ang editor ko. And of course, she's overflowing with sarcasm today.

Ang blazer nyang nalukot na dahil sa marahas nyang mga galaw ay mas lalo pang nagusot kasabay ng pagtapang ng bahagyang kulubot niyang balat.

Chicky is an old maid in her mid forties, so her strict and harsh attitude is understandable. Idagdag pa na one month late na ang manuscript ko na kulang na lang ay sunugin nya gamit ang nagbabagang tinggin. Now her face is screaming so much disappointment.

Hindi ako nagsalita at nanatili lang na nakatitig sa manuscript na halos gusot-gusot na rin sa kamay nya.

Pinaghirapan ko iyon...

"Alam kong wasak ka ngayon, pero maipapaliwanag mo ba yan sa libo-libong mambabasa na ilang buwan nang naghihintay sa bagong libro mo?"

Tumayo sya at hindi pinansin ang nagbabadyang luha sa mga mata ko.

I look like shit. I feel like shit. I act like shit. Im too fucked up to even react and process everything properly.

I just failed my relationship with the person I thought I can spend the rest of my life with. Wala ba akong karapatang magluksa? Wala ba akong karapatang magpahinga? Tao din ako, napapagod, nasasaktan.

Alam naman nila ang nangyari. Damn it's all over those cheap tabloids kaya bakit hindi nila maintindihan na kailangan ko munang mag heal? Bakit hindi nila naiisip na baka durog na durog na ako ngayon at kailangan ko ng pahinga?

"Act professional because we have a contract and you fucking signed it. Kahit end of the world na bukas, dapat ayusin mo pa rin ang trabaho mo! Hindi yung late na nga, basura pa!"

I blinked my tears away. What is the point of crying? I know it's my fault. Besides, I've been through worst. I heard so much of bad words against me so I shouldn't give a fuck on her remarks. She's angry, yes. But do I need to care?

Ipinasok ko na lang sa kanan at inilabas sa kaliwa ang mga sinabi nya hanggang sa kumalma na sya ng bahagya.

"You need a vacation Eishen, I'm so sorry for my words. The big bosses are pressuring me too much lately," her soft voice became my cue to stood up.

She came near me and pulled me in a hug.

Vacation? Yeah right. An indirect warning of termination. Alam ko na kung hindi lang kami nagkasama noong kasagsagan ng pagsikat ng mga nobela ko, baka nasisante na ako.

"I know you can do better, you can do this," she cupped my face but I didn't let her capture my eyes.

I'm not mad at her or anything, I just feel so tired to even have an eye contact. I had enough of today's drama.

I've been in so many unfortunate event lately dahilan kung bakit halos walang matino sa mga isinulat ko. Naiintindihan ko si Chicky dahil mismong ako ay disappointed sa sarili ko.

"Get well okay?" she softly added.

I unconsciously nodded before glancing at her guilty face.

I know she genuinely care for me. She's there with me when people are throwing hate speeches towards me but I know that today is different because she's in the middle of everything. Naiipit lang din sya.

I wanna smile at her and assure her that I'm fine but I couldn't because I definitely am not fine.

My life is fucked up.