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Fragile

Hi hi :)

I think the reason a lot of the same things we read make sense is because we all have a similar distorted view of our reality. I don't know if I'm making sense, but I was talking to someone and they didn't understand lyrics to Pierce the Veil songs and I pretty much said we roll with it and have it mean more what we want it to. Hold On Till May (by Pierce the Veil) has an open ended line which I'll type because I like it and I can excuse my crappy typing ability when it comes to typing it out or not you can quietly hate me
"If I were you I'd put that away see you're just wasted and thinkin' 'bout the past again, darling you'll be okay. She said if you were me you'd do the same 'cause I can't take anymore I'll draw the shades and close the door everything's not alright and I would rather..."
I feel like they said at the end to insert method of self destruction. That's when you can fill in the blank in your head without saying a word about it. I like it. It let's me think whatever I want and know I'm probably not alone in doing that. It's pretty amazing what we do as people. We give things meaning and emotion. It's a blessing and a curse though because we can't stop it and it doesn't seem to go away. Humans are such fragile things, but that's not something that's thought about a lot. Our habits and ways we do something come from somewhere we learn it or evolve to it. It's difficult to be able to live the way we do. Sure we mess up the earth and set rules and hurt each other, but on the other side there's love and togetherness because of all those things. When really bad things happen in most places there is help or someone we turn to or we find ways of dealing with it ourselves. It's not something we can get out of easily and things are so delicate, but aren't treated that way. Feelings and people go together no matter what. They are both broken and can be hurt. Then it's hard to fix them if they ever really get fixed. It's rare that things get fixed. People are complicated and difficult to deal with. Except we deal with them all the time. I think out of all the forces around us the hardest to fight is ourselves. At least for me I fight myself all the time over how I feel and how I think. Negative or positive. It's just a constant problem I have problems with. I don't know if you do the same or I'm alone I probably just need help. Which I'm not gunna look for or try to get so I'll just stay locked in an endless battle with myself because it's better than talking about it or admitting my probably need for help. So stuck is where I'll stay the only problem is now things have changed and it's pretty scary because it's uncharted territory the unknown I don't think I want to know. It's that scary to me. I am curious, but I'm more fearful than curious so I just have to wait and see how everything will play out. Sitting tensely on the edge of my seat scared of conversation and waiting for things to change or get better. I'll just hope it does. I figured that it should because I see everywhere that things will get better, but I only half believed it. I wanted to believe simply because that would make living through it worth it. I don't know what is worth it anymore. I don't know how life will end up being or if it will happen or anything. I regret a lot, but at the same time I don't. I'm on the fence about everything. I never know how I really feel about things. I'm just stuck where I am. Are you?

Welp I don't know what happened there I just kinda let myself run wild and uh that happened
YOU'RE AMAZING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!