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母親？母親？！

❝私は生まれる前に死んでいた❞

Mother always reminded me.

❝そして私は数年後に死ぬでしょう❞

I can never forget those words.

6th August 1945 is a day I can never forget either.

I was 14 at the time. I was waiting for mother to return; usually I would be at her office with her but I had been getting extremely sick lately. Cracks were forming on my forehead, almost as if I was splitting into two.

I wished so hard that I could be at her office that day. I hated it there, but at least I could've seen her.

I hadn't been there for almost a month. Mother didn't return home for a week.

Why? did she leave me? no... she wouldn't.

But she burnt her own boats instead. When I saw news of her bombing Pearl harbour, I was terrified. I didn't want to loose my mother. I couldn't loose my mother.

I wish I hadn't been sick, I wish I could see her face one last time. I wanted to see her face one last time, and hear the words

❝私は大丈夫です、何も起こりません❞

from her one last time.

That day I felt a uncontrollable guilt form in my head, I don't know why. I knew the cracks on my forehead wer growing, I felt that any day I was split into two.

Pain killers no longer worked, there was no stopping any of the pain. I cried in agony, I wanted mother back. I wanted to be in her arms and hug her tightly.

I wanted her to rub my back and sing me to sleep. I just wanted my mother. She never cared for anyone else, she was a monster to everyone; she was still my mother. She gave birth to me, she raised me, she cared for me.

I know her actions well, but she was still my mother. I had a terrible feeling. I struggled to walk from the everlasting agony; to the front door.

I slid the door open, the news paper laying at my feet. I hesitantly and slowly pick it up.

The first headline gave me chills.

ニュース速報：米国が広島に原爆を投下

I feel to my knees, the pain only increasing by the second. Mother said she was going to be in Hiroshima. They killed my mother...

I started violently sobbing, holding the news paper tightly. The side of the paper slightly tore from how tightly I was holding them.

❝お母さん、広島に滞在した後、東京に帰ってくると約束してくれました。あなたは約束を破りました、あなたは嘘つきを憎みました、それでもあなたはあなた自身になりました。あなたは私を残した。どうして....❞

I yelled at the top of my lungs. My voice shaky and still sobbing. She was the only family I had left, father was never in my life. She lied, and she died.

I couldn't bare look at the rest of the headlines, I used the last of my strength to rip the news paper into two pieces.

I laid down in the door frame, hugging my knees and loudly sobbing.

❝お母さん...お母さん、戻ってきてください...❞