TAINTED LOVE ▸ BILLY RUSSO

chapter sixteen - opening doors

That was how I ended up here, on Krista's couch, drinking a cup of whiskey and watching American Got Talent.

Sure the first months were very weird and tense in the very least. She didn't lie though, she didn't call the cops.

We've been doing this for a very long time. When I first came here, he had come out from the coma lass than two weeks prior. I wanted to kill Frank for doing this, not only to Billy but to me. I wanted to make him suffer the same way I am. He didn't know what was like to see the people you love forget you.

I turn off the TV and turn to Krista, crossing my legs and getting confortable to tell her something so that she could help him rememeber me. Us.

"You're ready?" She asks kindly and I nod.

"About four months after we meet, he had this meeting, right? The day before we had spent the night together and we didn't even sleep. We talked, a lot." I smile to myself but the happy moments is quickly replaced by watery eyes.

"You need a break?"

"We felt asleep at nine am, we had to close all the blindings so that the light wouldn't get in or I wouldn't be able to sleep. When we woke up, he was like six hours late for the meeting." I keep going. "None of us gave a shit. The next day he came up with the longest excuse I had ever heard and they rescadujled, at the end he ended up with better deal than what he had expected." I laugh at the irony and I look back at Krista who has a sad smile on her face.

"You know I can help you right? You need to talk with somebdoy what you went through-"

"Focus on helping Billy. I'll be fine."I brush it away and she nods at me, knowing better than to insist. "Why do you care so much?" I ask the doctor.

"I'm just-"

"I'm just doing my job," I repeat her usual ansewr. "Yeah, I know."

"I want to help, Stacy."

"Me or Billy?"

"Both." She says but I can tell she's lying by the way gives her pincky a little twist, like she does when she lies. "Billy reminds me of someone. I just want to help, Stacy."

"You want to fix him." I state.

"I want to help him. I want to help you too."

"I don't need help, Krista. I don't need saving. I don't want to be fixed." I say harsly.

"I think you need to move on." The doctor states blancky and I swallow hard. "This isn't good for you."

I ignore her and take a deep breath, walking away from her and out of the apartment as the woman keeps telling me to wait.

The night pass like all the others. The owner of the bar at the end of the street quickly became someone I would frequently talk about shallow things to. Like the price of the black shoes on the shop on the other side of the street.

"You should dump him." I look at the photo the woman shows me. "Common, you own a bar and he's breaking walls for a living. Plus, he's ugly. And an asshole."

"He's not an asshole." She states and I scoff playfully. "He's not."

"He sure looks like it." I joke.

My phone rings and notice another message from Krista.

K: Where are you? You're coming home?
K: Stacy! Reply!
K: I'm going to sleep. You have the keys.
9:01 am
K: Billy ran. I don't know where he went.

My heart stops for a second as I ready the text I just recieved. I get up from my seat and walk away as fast as I can.

I click Krista's name on my phone and wait for her to pick up.

"I can't talk right now-"

"What the fuck do you mean? How does he run from a hospital with two cops on his door?!" I snap and I hear her taking a deep breath.

"Are you drunk?"

"I'm was but your text sobered me up. How did he ran?!" I yell at her throught the phone

"I'll tell you later, just find him. He's not ready to be alone in the city."

"I'm on it. I'll tell you if I find him." I hang up, running to Kristan's apartment and going to the bathroom, taking the tile from the floor, opening the bag Billy had left behind.

It was all I had left of him.

I take the gun and hide everything again so that Krista wouldn't see it.

The doctor would tell me most of the things that went on in his head, that with what already knew about him, made me the person with best chance to find him.
He had told me about his baseball coach, and how he went there to confront him with Castle, years later, but couldn't. It was logical to think he would try again.

I get in the car and drive to the baseball fild, hopping to find them there, but I only see the kids playing. No Billy.

"Excuse me?" I call the coach who was teaching the kids and he looks in my direction, telling the kids to keep doing what they were doing and walking my way.

"How can I help you?" He asks.

"I'm looking for someone, is there any chance you can tell me who the coach was back in the 90s? Something related to an institution. Ray of Hope, I think?" I ask, playing dumb.

"There was a coach, Arthur Walsh. He might me who you're looking for. I don't remember anyone else that might-"

"Any chance you know where he lives?" I interrupt him and the man hesitates. "We ave some paperwork to go over, I can't seem to reach him." I look at my phone.

"Yeah, uhm... he lives right down the street, house number 234-"

"Thank you very much." I walk away not letting him finish.

I walk there as fast as I can, shooting the door lock, getting in. I don't need to get much into the house to see the man on the ground stabbed with the back of a broom. Jesus fucking Christ, the lack of memory is balanced by the amount of drama.

I walk back out and get in the car, driving back to Krista's house not knowing where else to go.

I park the car and walk in the house, using her computer to try and find something on Billy. I don't. It was dark and Krista wasn't home yet, making me lose my mind. I had grown use to her starting with her therapist shit when I got stressed.

I take a deep breath and go to the kitchen, pouring myself a cup of wine and going back to the computer. After finding nothing, I drink the rest of the wine in my cup and get ready to make a bad decision.

Before I'm able to, someone nocks on the door. Not the normal knocking but a very hurry and fast knock. Krista would have tell me if she wa waiting for someone so I instantly grab my gun, that was still on my side.

I walk to the window to see if Madani's car was parked on the street, but it wasn't.

I walk carefully to the door, making sure not a noise could be heared on the other side of the door.

"It's me. It's Billy Russo." I hear his voice from the other side of the door.

I don't oepn right away, but I let out a breath I was holding since I thought I saw him dying.

"Please?" I hear him pleading and I put my hand on the handle, not letting go of the gun, unsure of what to expect.

Finally, I use all the courage I have in me and open the door.