TAINTED LOVE ▸ BILLY RUSSO

chapter seventeen - hello

I look up at him. He doesn't have a beard anymore and his hair is shorter. The scars caused by Frank weren't descreet but he still locked like him. My Billy.

"You." He says shortly and it takes all in me not to hug him and cry into his chest, begging him to come back to me. "I've seen you before."

"Yeah," I say breathless. "You okay?"

"Where's Dr.Dumont?" He asks and I feel a tear leaving my eye but i clean it away.

"She'll be here soon. I'll call her. Come in." I close the door behind him, grabbing my phone and walking to her room.

My heart is as thigh as it can be as I call her.

"You found him?"

"He found you. He's here." I say. "He asked for you. You're coming home?"

"I'm busy." She says and I swallow hard.

"Oh, okay. It's fine." I nod to myself.

"I can go if you want."

"No. Ughm... have fun." I hang up.

I throw my head back, trying to stop the tears from falling, but failing. I hear a soft knock on the door.

"Can I come in?" Billy asks and I take a second to stop the tears from falling.

"Yeah." I reply cleaning them away, looking at the window as he enters the room. "You're doctor's busy, she's not coming home tonight."

"Why are you crying?"

"Nothing, it's fine." I look down, walking past him.

"Wait." He calls and I stop on my tracks. "Look at me." I turn around to face him and he looks at me, studing my features. "Who are you?" He asks intrigded and I'm unable to stop my tears

"I'm sorry" I apologize, cleaning my face and his expresion changes immidiatly.

He seems hesitant but he steps closer, looking down at me.

"I knew you." He sats and I swallow hard.

"You did." I confirm and he licks his lips nervously.

"What were we?" Billy asks and I look down.

"You loved me." I reply and he stays still, his hand moving carefully until it touches mine. "You don't remember me, do you?"

"No." He replies, not letting go of my hand. "I remember your face. You saying you're sorry. Nothing else." He explains. "Did you loved me?"

"I still do." I confess and he gives my hand a small squizze. "You really don't rememebr do you?"

"I'm sorry." He seaches from my face. "Tell me."

I look at him, unsure of how good of an idea this was. I catch a glace of his bloody shirt, which I hadn't even noticed yet.

"Maybe you should chage first." I step away from him and he nods.

I walk into the bathroom, taking the tile from the floor and pulling his bag. Taking the knife just to make sure and leaving it to him.

"It was yours." I tell him and he looks at the bag and then at me.

Overwhelmed, I walk out of the bathroom closing the door behind me.

I go back to the kitchen, not bothering on getting a cup and bringing the bottle of wine to my lips. Leaning on the counter and hitting my hand in it as hard as I could.

After a few minutes, he leaves the bathroom in the same black hoodie he had when we last kissed. I just wanted him back.

"Hey," Billy gets closer, noticing I was about to cry again. "Give me that." He takes the bottle from my hand.

"I should have got there sooner. I'm so sorry." I cry out. "I'm so sorry."

He touches my arm, pushing me to his chest.

"I'm so sorry, Billy. I'm so sorry." I cry even harder.

After a while, he pushes me away, carfully, almost as if he's worried to break us. When he found out who I was, I whished that he could just forget everything and we could start over, now it felt like the worst pain I've ever felt.

"I want to remember you." He states and I bring my hand to his face.

"Can I?" I ask and he nods.

My hand touches his scared figure and all I can remember is him covered in blood and glass.

"How did we meet?" He asks when we sit on the couch and I try to find a way to say it without mentioning Frank or Rawlins.

"You worked for someone who I had unfinished business with. I got close to you so that I could kill you but I feel in love." I explain. "Then at a meeting, I killed three targets and you were the forth one. You caught me and found out I was not who I said I was. I was supposed to kill you but I couldn't." I look at him. "Then I ran. Then you found me and took me to your boss who was ready to kill me but you saved me. You also told me to stay away but I didn't."

"What happened next?"

"Then it all went to shit and here we are." I say shortly, not wanting to mention everything that happened next.

"What happened? Why do I keep seing a skull?" He asks and I get up going back to grab the red wine. "Answer me!"

"I wasn't there, Billy." I tell him.

"Can I trust you?" He asks and I nod. "Good."