The Blackmail Dilemma

Dare Me To Expose Myself

I walked outside and got in my car. Normal routine, but today was not normal. It was far from normal. Because I was going to go in front of the whole school and tell them what happened.

I arrived at school in what felt like record time. Everything was too slow, but also too fast. My heart was beating a thousand miles an hour in my chest. I felt like I couldn't breathe. The anxiety was overtaking me. I was shaking. Worried. Losing my mind. ButI gripped the strap of my bag tighter and walked through the halls. I found the stairs leading to the second level, the stairs Damien died being pushed down, and I stood on top of them.

Everyone was doing their own thing. Plenty of bodies milled around, not paying me any mind. A girl passed me going up the stairs and gave me an ugly look, as to say 'why are you just standing there in everyone's way?' She continued her ascent. I was going to do it. Just like this. The bell was going to ring. Plenty of people were on the hall, and they were going to listen whether they wanted to or not. I wiped the sweat off my palms and onto my jeans. I pressed my jean jacket tighter around me. I shivered, but I wasn't cold.

Stacie spotted me from down the hall. She had a smirk on her face, thinking she won. Thinking I was going to hand her journal back and tell her that I was going to go through with her plan. Nina walked beside her. I didn't know if Nina had chickened out or if she was just making a show to Stacie, making her think that everything was normal and fine until it wasn't.

I cleared my throat. Maybe two people looked up at me. Janessa was one of them, standing next to Kalila. Janessa looked like she had just gotten out of bed, but her hair was still beautiful and her face didn't need makeup. Kalila had on red lipstick to match her hijab. They stood side by side in the otherwise crowded hall, looking up at me like I had lost my mind. And hell, maybe I had. August had just walked in the doors of the school, dressed nicely in khaki pants, a dress shirt, and his hair gelled nicely. I wondered what the occasion was. My heart stopped when I saw him, remembering our kiss, wondering if it was even a good idea for us to be together, if he even wanted to. Maybe it was a one time thing.

"Move!" A boy yelled, coming down the stairs towards my back. He shoved his shoulder into me. "Stacie's bitch."

Anger roared within me, and as he passed me, I pushed back, and he fell, stumbling down the last few steps. He stood up, brushed himself off.

"I'm no one's bitch," I hissed as he turned to face me. "Say that again and I'll do to you what I did to Damien." I didn't mean for it to come out like that, but it did. Everyone knew his name. He used to go to the same school. Everyone knew he passed. Silence flittered down the hall, followed by whispers.

"Yeah, that's right," I said, raising my voice as the boy widened his eyes. "I killed Damien. He was harassing me. Push came to shove, and it was an accident. But his actions that lead to me pushing him away from me, causing him to fall down the stairs and die, were not an accident. Bullying is not an accident. It's an act. It's an act that affects the victim forever. Traumatizes them forever. It's not okay. And I'm tired of being bullied by Stacie fucking Ramirez because I pushed a boy bullying me down the stairs, and I didn't want anyone to know. So she blackmailed me, like everyone else here. But I got it worse, and you know why? Because I was turned into the blackmailer, doing all Stacie's dirty work. But that's not me. Not anymore. So fuck you, Stacie."

Gasps went through the crowd. The boy from the stairs went to lunge at me, but August came out of nowhere and held him back. "I could've helped my sister, but I watched her get abused," he spoke loudly.

"And, and I was sleeping with a teacher!" Janessa shouted.

Then Nina shouted her secret. And then more voices joined in, yelling over each other. And I didn't feel so alone anymore.

Nina came up to me on the stairs, grabbed my hand, and dragged me all the way out of the school. Janessa, Kalila, and August followed. August pulled me into a hug. I didn't even realize that I was crying. I hugged him back, sobbing into his shoulder. It was over. It was finally over. I was free. I was finally free of Stacie, and of my secret, and of the strain I had put on myself.

I pulled away from August. Kalila was next to me.

"It's okay, Kiley," she said and hugged me.

Janessa hugged me next. "I'm glad you finally came clean. I hope we can still be friends, despite everything. I was angry when you didn't stand up for me. Hell, I'm still a little mad. But I guess we're stronger in numbers, right?"

I nodded. "Yeah. But your plan, I like it. It's genius. We can finally put Stacie in her place. And not just in front of the entire school."

She grinned. "Yeah. I'm kind of good at revenge. And being angry. It's what I do."

Kalila shuffled her feet. "I was a little disappointed in you when Janessa told me what happened. I just hope you know now what's important. Friends, not bullies."

I nodded. "Of course. Always."

Then we had a group hug, and we discussed our plans. I still didn't know where I sat with August, but I hoped I could catch him later in private.