Letters to Anonymous | MYG [Completed]

36. Miles Apart

Heavy steps moved to the bedroom. Appetite gone, interest gone, seems like life was gone!

Suga's brain guided him to give Ah-In some space and time to recover from recent events, but his heart was not happy with his own decision.

There was a constant fear of losing the relationship permanently. What if Ah-In decides not to end this break. What if this situation is too much for her to handle and ending things is an easier option.

Suga has been on a roller coaster ride of these thoughts for the last few hours. After a lot of thinking, he decided to trust their relationship. He believed that over the span of a few months, they had developed a strong bond, enough to ensure that they'll overcome this situation as well.

Despite this conviction, it still wasn't easy to completely disconnect from Ah-In.

Suga's strategy to deal with this heartache was to immerse himself in work and sleep. Their tour was starting in a week's time. Once the tour starts, for the entire month, he would not have time to even think of anything else. He would be occupied only with performance, interviews, and travel. He just has to hold on for this one week. And for this one week, he would obsess over his work, work, and only work.

Easier said than done. Thoughts would creep up Suga's mind without his realization. He would often wander to thoughts of what Ah-In must be doing or how she must be feeling. The urge to make that one call, speak just one time would bug his mind constantly. It was difficult to control the urge.  

Though he would not express his emotions or even speak about his situation to anyone, other members knew. Without Suga's knowledge, they had made an agenda to ensure Suga is in at least one of the member's company throughout the day. At even the slightest suspicion of his mind wandering to his estranged love, they would bring him back to reality. If they would see him feeling down, they would put in all their efforts to uplift his mood.

Suga had sensed the sudden increase in other members' company around him and all the attention he was getting. He wouldn't say it but he really appreciated his friends' efforts to keep him away from despairing thoughts. Unfortunately, despite his bandmates' incredible efforts, and an absolutely tight work schedule, reality would sink in, all too often. He couldn't help but feel downhearted. No one can remove that aching feeling!

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The condition was the same with Ah-In too. Her heart ached because of her own decision. What she did following her decision was even more difficult!

Ah-In abandoned her mobile phone, deactivated all her social media accounts. She informed her publishing house to cancel all her public appearances and interviews till further notice.

She left the city and went to stay with her grandparents, disconnected from the entire world. In her safe place, her sanctuary. Apart from her parents, no one knew how to get in touch with her.

Once she reached the village, she locked herself inside the bedroom. Tears which she had held back for so long, started pouring like a waterfall. She couldn't help herself and just kept crying for hours and hours. She had lost control over her own thoughts, over her own emotions. Negative thoughts and emotions were just erupting like lava from a volcano and she couldn't do anything about it. She felt as if all she could do was cry and feel miserable.

She would not come out of her room. She would not speak with her grandparents, she would not eat, not sleep, she couldn't do anything! First two days, her grandparents tried to speak with her and to make her feel better, but everything was in vain. They also decided to give her some space to recover.

View out of her window which used to fill her heart with warmth, now held no meaning to her, mostly hidden behind closed windows and curtains.  The smell of tea and herbs brewed by her grandpa failed to get her attention. Delicious food cooked by her grandma, could not get her interest. 

The world had come to a halt, a painful pause.

It wasn't that she didn't want to speak with her family, it wasn't that she didn't want the affection of her grandparents, it wasn't that she didn't want to read encouraging words of MYG, it wasn't that she didn't want to hear Suga's voice, but she just had lost the courage to do any of this. 

All she could do was to brood and wait for this nightmare to be over!

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BTS continues their streak! They won 9 awards at MAMA!!!

And I am not gonna even start talking about their IG accounts! I can write essays and books about their recent activities of IG and Weverse but I'm gonna keep mum for now!

Lovely readers, you can surely share your thoughts about their hyperactivity on IG and Weverse :p