You Stole My Heart

Part 34: Discontent And Anxiety

    September 25, 1974.

It was Saturday morning, half past zeven in the morning. Roger was still asleep in bed and I already put on my glittery dress because we are going to a party tomorrow.

Roger woke up, he rubbed his eyes and yawned. "Wake up at last too?" I laughed. Roger sighed and looked tired.  "Yeah haha, it got late yesterday, you know." Roger said, putting his arm under his head.

I sat on the bed with my glitter dress in my hands. "Are you going to put on that dress tomorrow?" Roger asked curiously. I nodded, "Yeah that was meant to be, but it's a little tight." I said looking uncomfortably.

"Put it on, let's see if it's tight?" Roger asked. I sighed, "Okay honey." I got up and put on my dress, it cracked a little because I got a little fat. "Sorry Roger, but I'm so fat and ugly!" I burst into tears.

Roger ran out of bed to give me a hug.  "Oh honey, honey." He whispered. "You, fat? Not at all, and even if you were, I wouldn't mind sweetheart, really, no problem! Don't worry honey, your dress looks absolutely sexy on you, I've never seen such a beautiful woman seen!"  Roger said, looking at me sweetly.

I wiped a tear. "Really, really?" I asked stuttering. Roger nodded and smiled, "Honey, my darling baby, I can prove it to you sweetheart." Roger said as he walked out of the bedroom door pointing his finger.

I smiled and went back to bed, putting my pajamas back on. Because it was still early, I wanted to get some sleep.  I waited for Roger to come back, and there he was again, holding Benjamin.  "Look, this is why I want to stay with you, our Benjamin, our greatest pride."  Roger said as he crawled into bed with me, little Benjamin gave me a hug, as if he already knew how I felt.

"And you know, Antonia, no matter what happens, you remain my dearest princess, hold on to that." Roger said as he gave me a very big kiss. "I love you so much, Roger." I sighed. Roger rubbed my wild hair.  "I love you much more, much more, and our beautiful son."  Roger said, his voice changing, as if he were going to cry.

Benjamin lay down between us and already fell asleep peacefully, holding his teddy bear in his hands. Roger and I looked at each other intently, "Shall we too?" I asked yawning deeply. Roger imitated me, he also yawned and nodded, "Get some sleep until ten in the morning, of course honey!" Roger gave me another kiss as a magnet.

Roger lay down in bed and put an arm around Benjamin's body, and so did I.  The best family together, just, safe in your own home and bed.

      • • • •

I didn't wake up until eleven in the morning, oops! I got up to wash my face in the bathroom. Roger was still sleeping well with Benjamin in bed, I let them sleep in because they both looked peaceful.

As I stood in front of the sink, I saw my face through the mirror. It was true, I just got really fat.  I was fat in my teens too, I just couldn't be thin. That's why my condition was so bad.

Suddenly, a fit of flashback came into my head from my teenage years...

I was in school, working at a table, writing down thousands of sums that I had to hand in for an important test.  Suddenly two boys and a girl walked up to my table, the girl looked at me with angry eyes, she put her hands on her hips and a mean smile appeared on her face.  "Are you okay, fat bastard?" She laughed.

What did she call me?  Fat bastard?  What? How? And why? The boys laugh at the word the mean girl said, then the girl looked at me even angrier. "Are you scared, fattie?" She laughed viciously again.  I sighed because I didn't want to feel bullied.

  Suddenly the girl wiped the papers I was writing from the table and the papers land on the floor. The mean girl looked at both of the boys.