"Boyfrenemies" Vol. 2

two

CRAIG'S POV

"alright girls good practice," our high school football coach cummings claps, "one cool-down jog around the field, then stretch, and huddle up."

groans erupted from the players, but especially from one particular fat ass, "coach we are already DYING!" he says as he falls dramatically on the grass.

"cartman if you want to complain, i'll make it a mile," coach cummings suggests raising one eyebrow.

"are you crazy?!—"

"let's make it two," coach cummings says not phased at all looking at his clipboard.

"god i will cut your—" kyle hits the fatass in the back of the head to prevent him from making matters worse.

it was so quiet after that, you could only hear the obnoxious chewing of coach cummings' gum that he's practically tearing a part.

"alright then," cummings blows the whistle, "get to jogging those two miles."

as much as cartman was being an actual idiot making us do our cool down twice as long, he had a point.

we were already dying, practice was excruciatingly painful to say the least. probably our most painful practice of the season yet.

i understand why though, our big homecoming game against north park is literally right around the corner and we have to pull out all the ropes to come out on top.

but that doesn't make my legs feel any less like jello or my muscles that feel like they could pop out any moment.

a high pitched whistle made me lose my train of thought, "twinkle toes, if you're just gonna sit there and day dream about your boyfriend i will just bench you now."

my eyes grow wide, "oh i wasn't i-i was just—"

"jesus christ you're even starting to sound like him. get to running. NOW!" he says blowing the whistle again.

i grimace,  attempting to put all of my physical pain to the side and start to run and catch up to the group.

i first pass up cartman who doesn't fail to tease me, "na na na na na na na you just got yelled for being gay for your boyfriend ha ha ha ha ha ha!"

"i wasn't being gay!" i fight back, "rather get yelled at for doing that though than being a fat!"

"HEY! i'm not—" i immediately just ran faster before he could even make his dumb comment that he's been making ever since he could probably talk.

i catch up with the main group soon after just for them to be talking shit about cartman.

"he just doesn't know when to shut his mouth!" kyle exclaims making his hands into fists, "he made everything worse for us!"

"like always," stan adds rolling his eyes.

"the question is," token says, "when doesn't cartman make anything worse for us?!"

the group then goes into deep thought trying to think of when exactly has cartman been beneficial in our lives.

"never," kevin stoley answers, "he's always been the root of our problems. and he hates star trek!"

as much as i want to rip on kevin for that nerdy comment i shut my mouth, "coach is kind of an ass though."

"oh craig! i didn't even know you were with us," kyle says turning around to look at me in the back.

"yeah i just got here after being ripped on by that son of a bitch," i say still upset by those remarks.

"i heard," kenny muffles (why on earth is he wearing a parka when he's working out?), "he's always ripping on you extra hard, even more than cartman who legitimately gives him a hard time."