Gold Whisker: A Fifth Grader's Attempt at Making a Book

Chapter 12

As soon as we found shelter, a horrible blizzard blew. Snowflakes as big as golf balls fell. Thorn and I went outside to find anything that was considered food.

"I just hope Gwen pulls through." Thorn said.

The mention of Gwen reminded me of Gold. The day I met Gold, his body was super thin and I didn't think he was alive at first, but Cream reassured me that he was alive. The last night I was at my masters' house, me and Tom argued whether he would be able to complete the mission.

"Are you sure he can go on the journey?" Thorn asked that day. "A cat that thin can't even move."

"I'm sure from all the Warrior books I heard." I said to him.

When I went near a small stream with an old coconut shell I found earlier to give water to Gwen, the whole stream was frozen. I was not surprised. The temperature was so low, that the cold was going through my coat. I was just glad greencough wasn't real like when BlueStar lost her eighth life to a bad one.

The next day the storm stopped and the temperature was high. Gwen had made it through the night and I was even more shocked when she opened her eyes. She had unusual purple eyes and it turned out her muddy brown coat was actually a bright orange with brown stripes.

We all told her our names.

"I'm just glad I get to see my dad again." Gwen said. "And there is something I need to tell dad. Listen, ever since you left, all the other warriors and slaves have been talking about how Jagged would kill the newcomer, Jeanette."

I couldn't believe my ears. They wanted to kill Jeanette!

  (Now to address the thing that probably is on everyone's minds right now; didn't Jeanette already escape?  In chapter 9, yes, I hinted that along with another cat who we can now assume to be either Sword or Gwen, she did escape.  That was the intention when I originally wrote that chapter.  However, it seems that when I wrote chapter 12, I absolutely forgot that plot point.

  Let's add another point to the flaw meter that is measuring my absurd Jeanette kidnapping plot, which is just getting higher and higher the more I transcribe this "piece of work" onto Watt Pad.  Although I can forgive myself somewhat  for this huge plot-related flaw considering I was ten at the time of writing this, I would be lying if I said there was not any type of possible story-destroying material here.  This makes me all the happier I worked hard to improve my writing style both in high school and now college with my journalism major.

  Also another point that is a problem here that most likely no one is giving as much attention to; Gwen cannot realistically be a striped ginger cat.  While yes, her mother Rosie is a short haired pure orange cat, being a ginger tabby is almost impossible for female cats.  Genetics make it hard for a female cat to achieve the look, favoring males more than females.  Plus, an orange tabby female cat most likely holds the issue of being infertile, much like a calico make cat.  You could use suspension of disbelief here for Gwen's appearance, but when I was writing Gold Whisker originally, I wanted a more realistic feel with genetics and cat behavior than with Warriors.  So yeah, I shot myself in the foot.)