Gold Whisker: A Fifth Grader's Attempt at Making a Book

Chapter 17

  By the time I entered Jagged's den, my scratch on my back stopped bleeding.  Needle thought I was the one who was training everyone, so he only took me.  When I saw Jagged's amber eyes full of anger, I thought I was doomed.  Thorn was right there, fear in his bright green eyes.

  "Whenever cats break my rules,"  Jagged said in a serious tone, "Cats must die."

  Jagged unsheathed his claws in his anger and scratched me on the leg.  The leg hurt badly, like someone had stabbed me, blood flowing out.  Thorn looked at the wound and his ears went back.  It was as if he had seen this before.

  "Don't do this"  Thorn yowled.  "She shouldn't be killed like Rosie!"

  "Don't worry Thorn."  Jagged said.  "You'll see Rosie and Maxie sooner than you think.  After this, you will be sentenced to death."

  Jagged took me down and jabbed his claws into my belly, not letting go.  Thorn jumped on top of Jagged and tried to get him off me, but no matter what he did, Jagged wouldn't let go.  Blood escaped from my body as Jagged's claws continued to dig into me.

  "Maxine!"  Thorn yowled.

  My eyes felt heavy.  Soon my eyes closed, preparing for my death.  I felt so happy to have lived a long life with cats I cared about.  Gold would always remember my existence, even if we never got to see each other again.

  The next moment I found myself in a field full of yellow light.  A cat that was a short haired orange tabby with pumpkin eyes was with me.  I didn't feel any pain from the wounds Jagged caused.  This cat was an angel who would lead me to the safety of Heaven.

  "Pull through!"  The angelic cat yowled.  "Don't die the same death as me!"

  I knew right away it was Rosie.  I didn't want to leave the safety of this field, not now, not later.

  "Maxine, please pull through!"  Rosie yowled.  "Gold needs you, and can't live without you!  He is pulling Jagged off of you and battling his followers with your team!"

  Rosie faded that moment and so did the light.  My eyes opened, still feeling weak.  Gold was there all right, battling Jagged with Thorn.  Jagged tried to fight back, but got slashed in the neck by Thorn.  Blood spilled out as the cat gasped harshly for air.  Thorn gave Jagged a cold stare, hissing at him.

  "This is what you get for everything you have done to me!"  Thorn yowled.  "You took away the one cat I truly loved just because I didn't follow your petty demands for a brief moment.  You tortured both of my children, and just now tried to kill my friend, who supported me through all this pain!"

  "W-why a-am I lo-osing this fig-fight?"  Jagged asked, spitting blood out of his mouth as he spoke.  "This is-isn't t-th-the e-ennn..."

  Jagged stopped talking that moment.  He collapsed to the floor, amber eyes going blank.  Blood spilled all over the floor of the den, blood that lapped onto Thorn's paws. 

  The sight of Jagged's blood on Thorn's paws made him wince out in shock.  Everything Thorn had just done to Jagged started to creep onto his consciousness, emotion filling his bright green eyes.  Even if Jagged was an evil mastermind, he was still Thorn's brother.  Deep down, despite the torment Jagged brought him, Thorn still loved him.  As Thorn was about to break down crying, I forced myself off of the ground in a miracle adrenaline rush.  Using the last of my strength, I ran towards Thorn.  I know I didn't have much time before I fainted from the blood loss again, but Thorn badly needed me, and needed to hear what I had to say.

  "It was self defense!"  I yowled, getting Thorn's attention.  He looked at me in shock, surprised despite my very injured state that I was even talking to him right now,  "It was either him or us.  You are a hero Thorn.  All of Gold Whisker would agree what you did was justified."

  "But I..."  I heard Thorn start to say, before everything went black around me.  I never heard the rest of what Thorn had to say.

  (Note:  This chapter, I did something that I am both kind of happy I did as well as ashamed I did; edit the ending of the chapter.  In the original draft, I never specified who killed Jagged.  It was just some unidentified random cat fighting in the struggle.  Since the ending of the chapter was so severely open-ended and so unsatisfying, I added in the conclusion that best fit in my opinion the stakes of the story.

  I chose Thorn to kill Jagged because I felt it was the most justified and the one with the most payoff.  Though it is a bit predictable, the build-up to me always seemed to be directing him to take out Jagged once and for all.  Jagged had tormented Thorn his entire life, victimizing him as well as his children and the love of his life, Rosie.  Thorn through all of those events was too scared to interfere, always becoming a bundle of nerves whenever Jagged was near.  Jagged was an intimidating cat that struck fear into a cat even as tough as Thorn, a demon following his brother's shadow wherever he went.  Seeing the cycle happen again with Maxie, a cat he was just getting close with and who was the source of his second chance at happiness, would probably cause Thorn to finally snap, taking the action he always knew deep down he had to do.  He wanted no one else to get hurt, so having him take out his brother seemed the most logical and justified ending for Jagged's arc as well as the chapter.

  I had Maxie shout out to Thorn that it needed to be done since yes, both their lives were in serious danger.  Even though I imagine Thorn would hate himself for having to kill his brother, it was the only solution that had the best chance of him and Maxie making it out alive.  He faced his demon, and saved Maxie in the process.  No court in the world would convict Thorn of murder for what needed to be done.  Maxie was speaking out my thoughts on the subject, on what had to happen in a situation where both of them could have easily died.  It was indeed self defense.

  So, I have one more chapter to publish, which hopefully will not need interference from the twenty-two year old version of me again.  I feel like the Watcher from The What-If series when he broke his oath to not interfere so he could take out the potential threat to the multiverse that was Ultron.  While it was the right thing to do, should I have changed the story so I could feel satisfied about finishing an incomplete chapter?  You guys please tell me what you think of me acting in this manner.)