Yellow Raincoat

9 | Venom

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"So, be still. You love to worry. It's okay, you always will. Stay where you are and take the time to take a break and count the stars. Yeah, there's glory in the mountains that we climb, but stillness brings a peace no search can find"

~ Still (Wild Blue, Part I)

MATTHEW

We walked down to Hannah's car in silence. I wasn't sure what to say to her. While teaching her how to skip rocks, I could tell my reaction to her question had made her uncomfortable. She kept glancing at me with uncertainty. Even now, as I watch her put her backpack in her car, that beautiful smile she constantly wore was gone. Instead, she kept chewing on her bottom lip, stealing a few glances my way every now and then.

My heart ached in ways that made me want to run away in discomfort. Thinking about everything, especially that night, made me feel disgusted and shameful. Bringing it up brought those feelings to the forefront when all I wanted to do was forget about it all. I wish I had handled my feelings better when Hannah brought it up earlier, but it was my gut reaction. Revulsion suddenly had a strong grip on my throat and all I could do was to stand up and leave before I said something I would later regret

Now that I'm watching how it had affected Hannah, though, I wish I had done better. Our trip was over and time was slipping out of my hands. Soon, she would drop me off at my place and leave. My heart hurt at the thought. I wanted to get to know her. Much more than I already knew.

Once we were both in the car, Hannah started the car and sat still for a second. I let her intoxicating sweet smell engulf my senses. "I'm sorry about earlier. I just want you to know I'm here for you, for whatever you want to talk about, whenever you're ready to do so. That's all."

I turned to catch her warm eyes and gave her a small smile. "Stop apologizing, Hannah. You've done nothing wrong."

The understanding that flooded her face made me want to word-vomit my feelings right here and there. It took almost everything in me to refrain. And when she smiled back at me, I knew I was done.

"I just," she stopped for a moment to collect her thoughts. Sighing, she said, "I wanted you to have fun today, away from everything on campus. I didn't mean to pry."

"Hey," I said softly, leaning in to catch her gaze. When she finally met my eyes, I continued. "I had fun today. Stop worrying."

She kept staring at me for an extra second as if waiting for me to change my mind. When she realized I meant what I said, she let out a long breath and nodded.

"Alright, well, next up is Venom!" She said, her lips curving up in a smile.

Confused, I blinked. "Venom?"

She nodded. "Yeah, the movie? They're playing it again at that drive-in theater by the Starbucks since the second movie just came out."

I chuckled, trying my best to hide my happiness at the realization that our day together wasn't over. "I take it you're excited."

"Don't even get me started on it. You have seen it before, haven't you?"

I shook my head, fighting the smile that pulled at my lips.

This made her gasp. "What is wrong with you?"

Laughing, I sat up in my seat. "You're acting as if I told a bunch of kids Santa wasn't real."