Yellow Raincoat

18 | Lasagna

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"There's lessons in love sometimes. The heart is but a winding road. So this story goes. I get scared of the dark and I. I never even noticed rooms were made bright by you"

~ Something to Someone (Dermont Kennedy)

HANNAH

When we got back to my apartment, Matt put the car in park and killed the ignition. I took in a deep breath, fully readying myself for my body to freak out. Though it didn't come, I told myself when we got closer to my apartment, it would appear surely. 

We both got out of the car. He followed me as I slowly moved toward my building. Heading inside, I walked to my apartment and stopped right in front of my front door.

Yes, my heart was racing and a small part of me wanted to abort the mission. But there was no major panic that was threatening to suddenly steal all of my air. There was no distress closing up my airways. My chest didn't feel heavy. It was just me and my heart, searching for the familiar fear.

All I could feel was his presence behind me, as he stood quietly, waiting for me to open the door.

I finally turned around, catching his apprehensive eyes. "You alright?" He asked; his voice was more encouraging.

I gave him a small smile and nodded. Looking at him, I could feel the tears that welled up in my eyes. Overwhelmed with the sudden knowledge that he can actually come in with me and I could feel safe, I turned away fast. I unlocked the door and quickly wiped away my tears, not wanting him to see them.

I opened the door wider to let him in and locked it once he'd entered.

He took a short glance around the place before turning around to face me. He seemed to be watching me closely as I placed my keys on the side table by the door and took off my coat. "How's this?" He asked finally.

I walked over to the couch to put my jacket down. "How's what?"

"This. Me being here. Are you okay?"

Swallowing down all the words I could say to convey how I felt, I walked toward the front door where he stood. His eyes didn't leave mine as I got closer. When I reached him, I grabbed the front of his jacket. His breathing seemed to quicken as I pushed it past his thick shoulders and down his arms. He was wearing a more fitted grey shirt underneath and I sucked in a soft breath when my hands came in contact with the skin of his bare forearms. When I had his jacket fully removed, I looked up to catch his eyes. They were darker now, lustful. "I'm more than okay," I breathed out, "you're here."

The heat in the room rose as we stood there silently staring at each other. The way he was looking at me was borderline dangerous. It disarmed the cautious part of my brain. I stood there waiting for him, hoping he would sense my desire and kiss me.

Within moments, he blinked and lightly shook his head. He looked at me hesitantly, his eyes narrowing a little as if he couldn't understand my actions.

I wanted to reach up and kiss him myself to prove that I wanted him. But that look in his eyes stopped me. I hadn't explained to him my feelings at all. He still thinks I don't want him like that. And the way his muscles tensed paralyzed me.

What do I even say? Maybe I should tell him everything now.

Sighing, I shook my head. Chloe and Garrett could get here any second and that would ruin everything. No, I needed to wait. I took a small step back and offered him a gentle smile. "Do you want to help me start the pasta sauce?"