embracing fate // yeonbinkai

20:01

20:01 - "i won't come back"

naivety falls within the meaning of ignorance, and kai has been called that more often than he thought he deserves. they said he was something worth protecting, a kind who should stay as he is, and the only pure thing in this polluted world—he didn't understand. he was as clueless as ever.

it was only until now when he finally got what years of fond smiles and words meant.

"can we talk?" kai leaned against the occupied kitchen counter. asking this while his boyfriends are cooking dinner is not his first option, but he didn't want to keep stalling further.

yeonjun is chopping peeled potatoes and tossing them into a bowl with water when he answers with a hum, not even sparing kai a single glance. beside him stood soobin who's peeling carrots, didn't bother answering at all thinking that yeonjun's response would suffice for the both of them.

simple things like that made kai restless. "please? it's important."

"why can't we talk about it at dinner?" yeonjun hummed again with his voice soft as ever. he found chopping more interesting than the desperate tone in kai's speech.

kai muses, "i don't think i can say it when i'm eating the meal you both prepared. so i really need to talk right now."

yeonjun huffed like he's tired of kai's persistence. he used to say that it's one of kai's charming points, but his actions right now are proving otherwise. "baby, we're busy here. why won't you wait for us in the living room or in the bedroom and we'll talk after dinner?"

"is it that hard for you to spare me a few minutes?"

"i just don't know why you're so stubborn. we can talk about whatever you want to talk about later."

the last part stirred an unsettling feeling in kai's stomach. it climbs to his chest and to his neck—it's choking him. yeonjun finally looks at him and all he can see is the irritation in his perfect features. "you're talking to me like i'm a child."

"you're acting like one right now," yeonjun was quick to retort and kai gasped in frustration.

soobin sensed the tension building up and dropped the peeler on the counter before laying a hand on yeonjun's back. "we don't want to fight now, do we? let's talk like adults."

"fine," yeonjun interjected, sounding defeated. he placed the knife flat on the surface and immediately crossed his arms, impatiently waiting for kai to start the talk. "hurry up."

yeonjun was unbelievably childish. he was never this rude; kai didn't understand where this was coming from. "you don't even want me to talk."

"that's what i've been saying, but you're so stubborn."

soobin had enough. "yeonjun," he warned and shot the other a stern look. fights are never new in the relationship, but it was still startling. kai, especially, being the one who's part of it instead of being a bystander, rarely happens when both him and yeonjun would melt the moment kai gets upset. "the two of you need some air. i'll finish this up and you both do some cooling off."

"no. i'll help you cook. kai go to your room and we'll talk after dinner."

this was not how kai pictured it to be. he was expecting talking and apologizing—he's been holding back so much of his thoughts about their relationship for a month now, and now he's starting to wonder if he can ever get them out.

maybe he won't tonight, maybe he won't ever; and it angers him so much that yeonjun is sending him to his room like he was a toddler on time out when it's exactly the reason why he wanted to talk in the first place.