Temper

9

I was short on my last check. I didn't have enough money to pay the bills and give Jake the money he asked for. I know he doesn't use the money I give him for groceries. He doesn't really give me much of a choice if I want to keep any for myself or not. I'm not planning on being short this month but if I keep missing work it will happen. He uses my money on things that I don't approve of. But what can I do about it? Right? I have to get the money that I had left over from my check after paying bills to him today. Which is only like fifty-five bucks. I sit down on the couch that is on the porch. I lean back feeling the pain in my side spread throughout my body.

I really should get JJ to give me some weed before we go wherever we are going. The three boys and kie pile out of the house and onto the porch. I look up at them expectingly waiting for them to tell me where we are going today. They look at each other with the same expression as me. "You don't know what we're are doing do you?" I ask huffing. Kie looks between the three boys and decides on her own what we are doing. "We are going to get something to eat" she says smiling and looking between them nodding.

They go along with it shaking their heads and mumbling like they had it planned the whole time. I roll ny eyes and smile at their antics. "OK but I have to stop by my house first" I say as I feel my back pocket to make sure it is still there. JJ eyes me wearily but the others just agree as they head to the van.

I follow behind them as JJ walks beside me. "Can I go in with you?" He asks softly while looking at me. I decide to play dumb and question him." Where?"
He swallows making his Adam's apple Bob. His fingers rub his chin as he licks his lips. "Your uncles, can I walk in with you?" He asks while hopping in the van and gesturing for me to get in too. I weigh my options I could tell him no but then he would get suspicious or I could let him come in with me and hope Jake doesn't act reckless in front of him.

I take a deep breath and smile while nodding "Yeah..yeah sure why not" I say throwing myself down onto the seat.

_____________

We pull up infront of the house that holds so many traumatic memories that it physically hurts to think about it. I pull the door open and I hear jj get out behind me slamming the door. John b shouting some shit about hurrying up from the front seat. I see his truck in the driveway letting me know that he is here.

I was hoping he would be out and I could just leave a note or something. I swallow the lump that has formed in my throat and twist the door knob. Multiple beer cans litter the floor and counter along with bottles of empty hard liquor. I nervously play with my fingers as I round the corner. "Jake, are you here?" I question while mindlessly throwing some cans into the trash can.

"I'm in here" his deep voice sounds from the kitchen. I step onto the hardwood floor off of the carpet jj close on my heels. Jake is standing in a wife beater with the refrigerator open pulling a beer out when I spot him. "What are you doing here boy?" He asks looking at jj while twisting the top off of his Beer. The familiar swishing sound filling my ears followed by the clatter of the lid hitting the floor.

"Nothing, just tagging along with her" he says with out smiling and pointing at me. Jake shakes his head as I intervene. "Ummm.....I brought your money" i mumble while pulling the fifty-five dollars out of my pocket and putting it into his open hand. He puts his beer down and counts the money. I bite my lip nerverously because he usually gets alot more than this from me. His eyebrows furrow as he recounts it. "I think you got something wrong darling" he says with his accent thick.

My heart drops hoping he doesn't cause a scene. "No...I just didn't make as much this time" I say looking at him with worried eyes. He has a deep scowl on his face as he makes eye contact with me. "You do realize this doesn't give me much to spend right." He says venom lacing his voice. "I-i'm sorry I just i" I stutter trying to explain why he is getting less. He nods his head taking a swig from his bottle. I look at jj who is watching us carefully hoping I can just walk out of here without an argument.

I feel fingers wrap around my wrist as I'm pulled forward away from JJ's side. Jake is looking down at me while I'm frozen. "Just a reminder there better be at least a hundred here next time. Got it girly?" He says his beer breath engulfing me giving me a sense of deja vu. I nod my head and close my eyes. I feel jjs hand wrap around my waist as he pulls me away from him and towards the door. His big boots crushing cans under his weight.

He drags me along until we are on the front porch and the door is shut behind us. My chest feels like it's caving in and I can't breathe. "You ok?" He asks softly with furrowed eyebrows as he lifts my wrist slightly to examine it. I jerk away nodding my head and start walking towards the van. "You know he shouldn't treat you that way." He shouts after me. I know he shouldn't. "It could lead to worse if you put up with it" he says catching up to me. I know it can....it already has. "He should be supporting you not the other way around" he says. "I know that jj" I say opening the door and sitting down next to kie lying my head on her shoulder.

JJ stares at me with his jaw clenched and eyes narrow. Not saying anything about it around the other pouges. I stare down at my hands nerverously hoping he doesn't mention it to them. I swallow down the guilt that I feel for hiding it from them, but I'm not ready.