Fox and Fawn

day eight

lucien

day eight

"This is a good sign, having a broken heart. It means we have tried for something."

― Elizabeth Gilbert

Red - Mt. Wolf

  When Lucien woke the next morning he found that the space beside him in the bed was empty. When he dressed and searched the town house, he discovered that he was alone. When he looked at the coat rack by the door, Elain's cloak was missing. When he entered the parlor to clean up last night's dinner, he found that the meal was gone, in its place a note.

Lucien,

I've returned to the river house.

Feyre needs a few hours to prepare, so please meet us this afternoon in the sanctuary on the grounds.

You were right. This will be easier for both of us.

Elain

  He couldn't breathe. He couldn't think. His chest tightened. His throat was thick. His vision tilted.

  What was happening? Where did this sudden change of heart come from?

  She was... Elain wanted to sever the bond after all?

  He read over the letter again. Then once more. Then a third time.

  She wants to sever the bond.

  Lucien hardly ever lost his temper, he hardly ever let emotion get its claws in him, but this was Jesminda, this was Amarantha, all over again. That surge of hurt and anger and emotion that seared his insides. That made his stomach turn. That made his entire body restless.

  Lucien sank into the armchair just behind him, unsure as to if he could stand for much longer. He dropped the letter and closed his eyes, massaging his temples. Trying to calm down. What on earth had happened between last night and this morning to change her mind? There was no rational explanation he could arrive at. He tried to review everything he'd said, every word they'd exchanged, and uncover where exactly things had gone wrong.

  But he came up blank. There was no explanation.

  He had left the pursuit of their relationship up to Elain from the first day he'd met her. He had leashed himself for years. He had fought his impulses, he had embraced his restrained and patient nature. Their bond had always been up to Elain.

  And what good had it done him? What had he gained?

  A broken heart. A broken spirit. A broken male.

  Very well. If that's what Elain wanted, that's what she would get. Damn her reasons. Damn their bargain. Damn her.

  But most of all, damn her fickle human heart. The one he'd come to love.

  Lucien did not wait a few hours to visit the river house. He'd dressed, tied back half his hair, and then started across Velaris. He wasn't dressed well enough for the cold - only donning the gloves Elain had purchased him so he wouldn't have to look at that hateful reminder of a bargain mark - but the heat of his anger was more than enough to keep him warm. For the second time this week he felt magic threaten to erupt from him.

  He was angry. And he was confused. And he was... wounded. His mind was buzzing and he didn't bother to think about his actions as he continued to storm through the city. Didn't bother to think about how he was about to barge into the High Lord and Lady's home early. He kept repeating the same thought, driving himself through what felt like the longest walk of his life.