Fox and Fawn

day ten

elain

day 10

"When two people are meant for each other, no time is too long, no distance is too far, no one can ever tear them apart."

Pt. 1 - Spanish Sahara - Foals

Pt. 2 - Dog Days are Over - Florence and the Machine

  Once the bond had been broken, Elain had been in a fog. Pain had wracked her limbs for an agonizing moment and then seconds later... numbness. A lack of any sort of emotional or physical pain.

  Her eyes had drifted from her unmarked hand up to Lucien's face and they'd both stared at one another blearily trying to comprehend what exactly they had just done.

  Nuala and Cerridwen had entered shortly after to escort Elain back to the river house.

  Elain had a vague memory of Nuala maneuvering her into a nightgown and then Cerridwen coaxing her to get into her bed. She didn't remember struggling. In fact, she remembered embracing her companions' command with enthusiasm and quickly drifting to sleep. Tears streaming down her cheeks while she tried to forget the distant aching in her chest.

  And when she'd finally woken two days later, her mind thick with sleep, she'd cried once more.

Elain wondered if fae could run out of tears. If just like in her human life, there would come a point where she was sucking down air and her eyes would sting while dry sobs wracked her chest.

  It felt like a mistake. All of it. Perhaps she should've allowed herself to be selfish. Lucien would've been happy, regardless of whether or not she deserved him. And Elain wouldn't have ended up living out her worst nightmare. Being alone.

  The weather outside seemed to attune itself to Elain's mood. Gone were the fluffy floating snowflakes, in their place, freezing rain. Nuala and Cerridwen had brought in breakfast and a tray of food, but it sat beside Elain untouched. Instead, she'd hugged her knees to her chest, staring out the window at the grey, rainy day.

  Lucien would soon be gone. She just knew it. There was nothing psychic about that knowledge. Elain simply felt his imminent absence in her bones despite the mating bond having...

  She couldn't finish the thought without choking.

  Gods, she'd really loved him in the end. She'd really, truly, loved him.

  And that's why you had to let him go, she told herself.

  There was a soft knock on the door and Elain shut her eyes against the sound. She really did not have the energy to put on a smile. To mask her sorrow. She was drained. But she also feared that if she refused the challenge then she might fall down a hole of misery she wouldn't be able to climb out of. Lucien had been right. The ability to "maintain" was a curse.

  So she inhaled slowly, dabbed the wetness from her cheeks with the sleeve of her nightgown, and sat a little taller, loosening her hold on her knees. "Come in."

  The complacent tone she'd attempted to speak in came out in croak that made her cringe.

The door creaked open then clicked shut, Elain didn't turn around to see who it would be. All she knew was that it wasn't Lucien. And that was the only person she cared to see right now.

  To the right of her the bed sagged just slightly. Out of the corner of her eye, Elain saw Nesta's sharp profile.

  She stared out the window thoughtfully. "I won't make small talk," Nesta said, evenly. "Why did you do it, Elain?"