Tell Me It's Okay // Haylex

fourteen ✿ your past has you in a choke hold

I spent the next couple days in bed. The guys took turns checking on me. My diet mainly consisted of Doritos and pizza. I rarely left my bed, unless I needed to pee. I didn't really write anything or even get the notebook out.

Zack had informed Hayley that I broke my phone. If I would actually get up, we could go to the store and get a new phone. But nobody was pushing me.

Jack knocked on the door, and pushed it open. He had a glass of water in one hand, and a letter in the other. "Hey," he greeted with a smile. I sat up a little and took the water from him.

"What's up," I asked. I took a drink of the water, and set it on the bedside table.

"Uh, this came in the mail," he said, and handed me the letter. I took it, and opened it up. I read the first line, and felt like I couldn't breathe. "What is it?" Jack climbed into bed next to me, and read the letter over my shoulder.

"It's from Lisa," I said. There were multiple pieces of notebook paper. They were all from Lisa, and they were all dated at times when we were dating. They also all talked about All Time Low.

Dear Alex,

Blah, blah, blah- Saw you guys performing again tonight. You guys are the best, and I can't wait to see where you go.

Dear Gaskarth,

Saw what you and Jack were doing on stage, shame shame! Haha, just kidding. I know you love me more than him. I think this was your best show. I could listen to you sing all day.

There were several letters that were all like that. I threw the letters down and got out of bed. I ran out of the room, and locked myself in the bathroom. I sat down next to the toilet, and threw up.

The happy memories of Lisa were going to slowly kill me.

"Alex? Everything okay in there," Jack asked. He knocked on the door as I flushed the toilet.

"Yeah, can you uh, go get those letters for me," I asked. Jack agreed, and then I heard him walk away. When I heard his footsteps getting closer again, I opened the door. I ripped the notes from his hand, and went back to the toilet. I threw the papers inside, and flushed.

"Let's fucking get to work," I mumbled as I started out of the bathroom. I jumped down the stairs, and stood in front of the basement door. I heard footsteps behind me.

"Are you serious," Rian asked. No one had been down in the basement since the band called it quits. With the guys behind me, I opened the door. I flipped the light on, and then started down the steps.

We all started setting everything back up. Rian had to put the drum set together, Jack had to tune his guitar, Zack had to tune his bass, and I set up the microphone. But I also tuned a guitar.

We were about ready to start, but I ran back up to my room to get the notebook. I ran back down, and started flipping through it.

"There's so many in here," Zack said. He passed it off to Rian, who started reading through them.

"When were you gonna tell us," Rian asked. I shrugged, and plugged the microphone into the amp. The notebook was passed onto Jack.

We had put out one album and one EP. The album was The Party Scene, and the EP was Put Up Or Shut Up. We had enough songs now to make another album.

We spent all our time down in the basement. We had an endless supply of pizza and beer, and we had the time. We moved two of the four mattress down to the basement, and some of us would sleep down there.

One night, I was huddled in a corner. I had a flashlight shinning on my notebook, and a pen in my other hand. I couldn't sleep, but Zack was sleeping on the mattress right next to mine.

The time on the clock reads half past four

I'm wide awake and thinking

With my pillow on the floor

That maybe I'm just wasting my time dreaming

In a harsh reality

I don't wanna wake up just to find out

I've been deceived...

I just kept going. I wrote the entire song, and wanted to move onto another. Zack moved on the mattress, and I looked over. His eyes opened, and I shut the flashlight off to save his eyesight.

"What are you doing up," he asked sleepily. He sat himself up, and I closed my notebook. I threw it and my pen off to the side.

"I just wrote another song," I said. I rubbed my face with my hands. I laid down, and Zack did the same.

"At this rate we'll have enough songs for two albums," Zack joked. I laughed a little, and it turned into a sigh. We talked a little longer, and then fell asleep.

We spent those couple weeks without Hayley continuously working on music. It felt great. I missed that feeling. The feeling of doing something that you loved.

Everything was falling back into place. I had a beautiful girlfriend who actually cared for me, we were giving the band a second chance, and the guys and I were closer than ever.

What could go wrong, right?