Tell Me It's Okay // Haylex

twenty one ✿ love your sin

Fuck, fuck, fucking-fuck. How could I do this again? Somehow Tay always had me wrapped around her finger. She was sleeping on me, and I was starting to drift off. But I knew I had to get out of there.

I scooted Tay off of me, and then picked my pants up off the floor. I jumped around as I put them on, and the exited the green room. A different band was playing, and our group was spread throughout the club.

I found Hayley at the booth, texting Zack. She gave me a friendly smile, and kissed my cheek as I sat next to her.

"Where have you been," she asked. She wasn't angry or upset, she just genuinely wanted to know.

"I threw up in a closet, actually. I think I passed out for a little while too," I covered. She put her arms around me, and rested her chin on my shoulder.

"Are you okay," she asked. She was giving me these puppy dog eyes. I nodded and looked around for one of Tay's band mates. I found Rian instead.

"Hey, I think we're gonna head out. You think you and Tay can catch a ride with the band," I asked. He nodded, and pointed back towards the crowd. He backed into it, and found some of the band mates.

Hayley, Taylor, Jeremy, and I piled into the car. Hayley drove Jeremy and Taylor to their hotel, and then drove me home. We got out, and she walked behind me. She made sure I didn't fall on the stairs, and then we got into bed. I felt bad even sleeping next to her.

"I'm gonna check on Zack and Jack," I told her. She scooted up so I could get out of the bed, and I crawled over her. I stumbled out of the room, and went next door.

Jack was asleep in his bed, so I went across the hall. Zack still had a light on, so I went in. I sat on his bed, and he looked up from the magazine he was reading.

"What's up," he asked. I got up again and shut the door. I sat back down and looked at the floor.

"I hooked up with Tay," I said quietly. I heard the magazine hit the floor, and I looked over at it.

"You did what? After you just got engaged? Alex, what were you thinking." he yelled. I told him to keep his voice down, but I knew it was no use.

"I wasn't thinking, Zack. We all got drunk, and I haven't had sex since ..." I tried to form words but it wasn't really working.

"Please don't tell her you were sex deprived, but you need to tell her," Zack said. He was rubbing his face with his hands.

"No! I don't know... I mean, Tay's going back to New York, so it doesn't matter, right," I asked. I bit my lip and tried to think. All the guys knew about the weekend in Poughkeepsie. That was the first time I'd hooked up with Tay, while I was dating Lisa.

"You need to tell her, Alex," he said. I could feel tears in my eyes.

"Not right now," I said, and shook my head. Zack motioned for me to get up, and we both stood. He had me stand outside my room, and he knocked on the door.

"Hey, Hayley. Alex passed out in my room, so I'm just gonna let him sleep in there tonight," Zack said. I mentally thanked him as I stood there silently.

"Is he alright? He seems...off, she asked.

"I think he's fine, just drunk," he said. He told her goodnight, and turned the light off. He closed the door, and then we went back to his room. "You owe me."

The next morning, I woke up on Zack's floor. On top of a hangover, I had a sore back. I went downstairs to find some aspirin, and stopped dead in my tracks. Asleep on the couch was Tay.

I quietly went into the kitchen and started a pot of coffee, and took the aspirin. I whispered to the coffee maker to go faster as I glanced in the other room.

I poured myself some of the coffee, and then started back upstairs.

"Alex," I heard. I stopped, and tried to will myself to go on. Tay saw me. "Aw, did you make me some coffee?"

I wanted to sprint up the stairs, but there was no way that was going to happen. I sat next to her on the couch, and let her drink my coffee.

"Listen, Tay, about last night," I started. She took a sip of the coffee, and nodded. She set the mug on the coffee table.

"I totally get it. One night stand, and you want me gone. But here's the thing- I don't have anywhere to go. I won't say anything to 'Hay bae' as long as you let me live here," she said. I closed my eyes and sighed. It sounded like a disaster, but I had to agree.

"Fine, as long as you don't say anything or hint at it, or make a move on me again. Ever," I said. She crossed her heart, and then took another drink.

I filled two more mugs, and brought them upstairs. Hayley was still asleep when I went in there, so I set them on the bedside table. I sat on the bed, and rubbed her back.

"Alex? Hey, I thought you were sleeping on Zack's floor," she said. She pulled herself up into a sitting position.

"Yeah, I did. It's about ten o'clock now, so," I said. I handed her one of the mugs, and she thanked me. We sat in silence for a little bit. I couldn't tell her. I couldn't just come out and say it. It was horrible.

Tay wasn't going to say anything, so she would never know as long as I didn't say anything.

"Everything okay," she asked suddenly. Her eyebrows were furrowed in a cute way, and I just had to laugh.

"Yeah, just a pounding headache," I said. I leaned against her, and put my head on her shoulder. She smiled, and laid her head on top of mine.

"I love you," she said. And I loved her too.