Tell Me It's Okay // Haylex

twenty five ✿ the rumor

Every night, we'd go out at our merch booth. You Me At Six and Paramore were performing for the next couple hours, so people really didn't care. After the show had officially ended, we could stick around for a little longer. Everyone else usually started packing up all the merch, though.

After we got everything packed up from the booth, we went out to the bus. Since that meant we were good to go, we went around and met anyone that wanted to meet us. It was cool when there were people that knew who we were. We'd take photos and sometimes sign some stuff.

If I had time after that, I'd try to meet up with Hayley. It didn't happen every night, but when it did, we were always exhausted. There were times when Hayley actually fall asleep sitting up. I'd carry her to her bunk, and carefully lay her inside. I'd close the curtain, say goodnight to the guys, and then go back to my bus.

Laying in my own bunk, I'd get on my phone. I'd look through social media, and then try to sleep. Sometimes the sleep came easy, but sometimes it didn't. Being on my phone probably didn't help, but it made the time pass faster.

Our first day off, I spent the whole day with Hayley. We walked around the town, tried food at different places, and just spent all our time together.

We went back to her bus to chill out. Both Taylor and Jeremy were out, so we had the whole bus to ourselves. Hayley put our leftovers in her fridge, and then we sat on the couch.

"Wanna watch Netflix," she asked. She laid her head on my shoulder. I tried to think of what else we could do. I was so tired I couldn't even think.

"I guess so. I might fall asleep on you," I said. I leaned on her, and then fell in her lap. She laughed, and tried to reach over me. She groaned as she reached for the remote on the table.

I rolled over in her lap, and got the remote for her. I handed it to her, and then buried my face in her stomach again. She laughed, and I looked up at her.

"You've gotta be more active. How do you survive on stage," she said. She kept laughing, and moving around. I sat up, and looked at her.

"Being on stage is different," I said. She smiled and leaned into me.

"I know it is," she said. She kissed me, and then she was basically on top of me. I leaned back, and then I was laying down. She was sitting on top of me, staring at me. I leaned on my elbows, so our faces were closer.

"Hayley? Are we-" I tried to speak, but she put her lips on mine. I felt her fingers against my stomach, and then my shirt was rising. I raised my arms, and we separated. She took my shirt off completely, and threw it to the floor. "You wanna do this?"

"Stop talking," she whispered. She took her own shirt off, and kissed me again.

"I don't wanna do this. You said you wanted to wait until marriage," I said. She groaned, and lightly hit my stomach.

"I don't wanna lose you," she said quietly. I laughed and wrapped my arms around her.

"If anything, I would be losing you. After everything I've done, I don't deserve you," I told her. She wasn't looking at me. She was looking at the floor, and I could see the tears in her eyes. She pushed herself out of my arms, and got up. She took her shirt off the floor, and stormed off the bus. I tried calling after her, but she didn't react.

I didn't see her for the rest of the day. I went back to my bus, and napped. I was beat from our day together. All I wanted to do was sleep, but apparently she had other plans.

I couldn't sleep then because all I could think about was why she suddenly wanted to have sex. We'd made it this far- we were almost to the wedding- and she wanted to change her mind.

I didn't know why I was complaining. She just didn't seem herself. Hayley didn't just give up on a commitment. If anyone in our relationship was going to, it'd be me.

I got up that night to go for a walk. I walked by Paramore's bus, and Josh came out. He almost hit me with the door.

"Oi, sorry man. Didn't see you there," he laughed. I talked to him for a little bit. He said Hayley wasn't on the bus.

"Why? Were you looking for her too," I asked. I crossed my arms over my chest. I was starting to get a bad vibe from Josh.

"Oh, no no no. I was just checking to see if they had any beer," he covered. I nodded along with what he was saying, but I didn't believe him. Of course they had beer, but Josh didn't have any in his hands.

We said our goodbyes, and Josh went to his bus. I got on Paramore's and looked for Hayley. Jeremy and Taylor were sitting out in the lounge, so I asked them.

They covered for her and said she was sleeping. I thanked them anyway, and went back to my bus. Taylor and Jeremy both had beers in their hands. Jeremy had obviously bought it because Taylor was only nineteen.

I laid in bed again, asking myself even more questions. What was going on between Hayley and Josh? And more importantly, why was it happening while we were engaged? It was another restless night.