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"cel i'm in love with you"
harry was in love with me. he can't be. we're just friends, i hadn't developed those feelings about him yet.
"harry, i'm so sorry but i'm not ready." and that sentence had broken his heart i knew. my handsome boy being heartbroken by the ugly girl in hospital.
"cel, it's okay i will wait for you"
"harry please don't, you have a whole life to live you can't just waste it on me. i don't think i ever can be ready again, i'm just scared" and that's when the tears started falling for both us, i pulled him in to comfort him but he pushed away. he had stayed all morning with no sleep to tell me that he loved me, but i ruined it. that's who i am the girl who ruins.
"cel, i wish you the best but just know my love for you will always be there and will never leave, even when you are ready i will be there to welcome you back with open arms" harry looked at me. i smiled back and the tears flowed back, this time though he came over and hugged me back. i needed him just as much as he needed me, but i couldn't show it.
                                 ***
harry had driven me back to my apartment and walked me towards the lift. we stood in silence as we waited to arrive to the 7th floor.
"harry i am so sorry" i choked on my words as they came out.
"cel, your not ready and it's fine we'll both be ready for each other some time in life"
"right person wrong time"
"exactly" he replied. i couldn't bare seeing him like this, barely even able to look me in the eyes, we're we even friends anymore? harry walked along beside me and carried my handbag to the apartment where i found my key. i opened the door gingerly and faith was sat in there crying. i ran over and comforted her in the biggest hug i could.
"cel i've missed you so much"
"i've missed you too faith" this the most amount of affection we'd ever shown each other, i had missed her to the moon and back.
"cel i think i'm gonna go, i'll see you soon" before he could shut the door i engulfed him in a huge hug.
"thank you harold for everything" i cried into his chest. all i needed was him and i've just pushed him away. i waved goodbye and he quietly went back to the lift. i closed the door and quickly ran back over to faith where u told her everything about what happened in the hospital.
"i'm so sorry cel" she grabbed my head and pulled me in again for a hug. all i needed was her. her hands ran threw my hair as i bawled like a baby into her chest.
"i think i'm going to go to bed, i need to forget about everything"
"of course cel, sleep well my love" she helped me up and then watched me walk over to my bedroom. as soon as the door closed i slumped down the back of my door and cried. cried more than i ever had done before. i had everything i needed me and harry were finally doing something about our feelings but i pushed it away. my happiest thing and i pushed it away.

liked by freyanightingale, faithlouisak and othershey everyone, i've recently been in hospital due to reasons i don't want to share in the internet

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liked by freyanightingale, faithlouisak and others
hey everyone, i've recently been in hospital due to reasons i don't want to share in the internet. i just want to say how thankful i am to have all of you in my life, you deserve every piece of happiness you get, loving you forever❤️‍🩹

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@freyanightingale: i am always loving you forever girl through thick and thin <3
@celestejames: loving you more
@ksi: we are all here for you cel 💞
@celestejames: love you jide <3

a simple little post would put everyone's mind at rest. i loved them all but i'm scared i'm going to push them away, i can't do this anymore.

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