What If?

Chapter 1

"Stella, honey, wake up. It's almost 5:30 am and you know what day today is.. it's you're first day of being a college student. C'mon honey, you don't wanna be late right? Stella?"

Yawning, I hesitantly opened my eyes. I found my Mom smiling at me, but something seemed to have caught my attention.

"Hey, umm, mom? Are you... are you crying?"

"What? No honey. It's just, well, it's still early and I'm still kinda, you know, sleepy." Mom denied while wiping the small tears from the corner of her eyes.

"Aww,.. geez Mom! You don't have to deny it, you know. And besides, you suck at lying."

"Hahaha! And so do you! Oh silly Stella. Come honey." I sat up straight and my Mom came close to hug me tight. "Honey, you know I love you right? And it's just that, well, I still can't believe how fast time flies. All I know is that I'm holding you in my arms, singing you to sleep and changing your diapers... and the next thing I knew..."

I pulled back to look at her, "Haha! Oh Mom, are you sure that you really missed changing my diapers? Because all I know is for sure, that is really one tricky and smelly job." I smirked.

She smiled at me - a sad but hopeful kind of smile. "And besides, I'll be home during Thanksgiving and Christmas. And if I have the time, I'd visit every two to three months, that's for sure!"

"Oh honey, Sophia and I will miss you so bad."

"Even if I'm a pain in the ass at times?" I grinned.

Mom laughed and this time, it was a real one. "But just promise me one thing honey."

"Sure Mom. What is it?"

"If there's a boy..."

I cut her off. "Is it a boy friend or a boyfriend? Mom, there's a huge difference between the two you know. If you mean boy friend, then I really have lots of them." I grinned.

"Haha! No you silly! A boyfriend!"

"Ohhh, yeah, right. Well, what about that?"

"Honey, if there's someone special, I just want you to know that I'm always here for you, okay? You can talk to me about anything."

"Okay Mom, I promise.. even if that is kinda impossible, okay."

Mom offered her hand and led me to stand in front of the mirror. She had medium-length dark brown hair which draped over her shoulders and she had dark brown eyes, the same as Sophia's. Mom stood beside me and put her hand under my chin which made me look at our reflection.

"You see that? You are a beautiful person honey, inside and out. And I'm sure there's going to be that one lucky boy who will help you see that. But the point is honey, you have to love yourself first because that is the only way others will love you too."

Tears formed in the corner of my eyes. "Okay Mom. I'll never forget that. I love you."

"I love you too honey. And now, go get ready and eat your breakfast or else you're gonna be late."

I got into my 'usual' outfit - my favorite blue and black plaid three-fourths sleeved polo shirt paired with a white inside shirt, skinny jeans and my all-time favorite dark blue Chuck Taylor's. I was looking for my ring when I passed by the mirror. I stopped for a second and looked at myself. I actually look a lot like my mom but quite different though. I had a slim body, long and brown hair and a pair of green eyes which I got from my Dad. My height is nothing compared to my Mom and Dad because I for one think that they're both giants.

I was examining myself when I let out a big sigh and recalled what my mom just said. And she was right. I have to love myself because this is what and who I am. I am me and I can't be someone who I am not because everyone else is taken. Mom honked the horn, called out my name and I realized that we're all good to go. I looked around my room and inhaled the smell of it, because I knew that it would be something that I would really miss, and then closed the door behind me.

× × × × ×

After a long drive from home, we finally arrived at the Southern Coast University, Los Angeles. It was approximately 120 miles away from San Diego. Mom helped me with my bags while Sophia took pictures.

"Awwww, as much as I kinda hate to admit this, but I'm really, really, really gonna miss you Stella. Mom and I have never been separated with you ever since." She pouts.

"Umm, who are you and what did you do to my sister? Please bring her back, will you? And please tell her that I'm really gonna miss her too, even if she's a pain in my ass at times." I said it with a grin in my face.

Sophia grinned, ran up to me and hugged me tight. *sniff sniff*

"Oh my gosh, Sophie. You're actually crying?! Oh my gooosh. This is like, wow! Mom, you've got to take a picture of her crying. This is the exact proof that she really does love me!"

"Oh stop it you. Even if you're gonna leave, you're still that same old crazy sister of mine."

"Haha! I know right? Anyway, mom? Can we like have a group hug and a picture before you guys go?"

Mom put the car keys in her pocket and ran up to the both of us immediately. We shed some tears and then eventually laughed at each other's facial expressions, just like crazy people. But then, it was finally time to go. I waved to them goodbye as tears pool down my face. These are those kind of moments when I actually don't really know what to feel. It's like I wanna chase the car and tell my mom that I wanna go home but there is this other part of me that is kind of happy to actually start the new chapter of my life. So I decided to put on a smile, wipe my tears and made my way to the university.