Plums| B. Barnes

~Journal 4~

Month 5

Friday
July 4, 2014

Bucky sat out on the Balcony of the apartment and watched as the 4th of July fireworks danced across the sky while Ivory had been asleep for the night inside. She was a pretty decent sleeper...she slept through everything, she would sleep through a hurricane if Bucky allowed her to. While Ivory had been resting her eyes, Bucky decided to dive into some long awaited literary therapy...His journaling.

It was the only thing that kept him sane other than having Ivory in his life.

Bucky started a new Journal today. He called it Journal # 4. Underneath the title "Journal #4" he wrote "All things Ivory."

Although he used Journal #2 to track his experiences in Romania, including having Ivory in his care, he felt it would be fitting to reserve a special journal just for her.

~~~~~
Entry # 1

"This is Journal # 4, in this journal, everything is about one person...Ivory Lee.

Ivory.

As of July 1st Ivory Lee turned one month old...I'm not good with this milestone stuff, but I'm going to try my best to keep up.

In only a couple of weeks, Ivory has become, my joy, my light, and my hope for a better future. I can't even imagine a life without my Ivory. The mind works in mysterious ways...two days ago I tried to get rid of the greatest gift to enter my life, and for that I hate my mind...I hate that in my mind I wanted to do something so selfish...God only knows where that little girl would be if I had never looked back.

I hate fact that I still struggle to control my mind...although Hydra no longer has a hold on me, this new life style does. I would take this life over my last in a heart beat no matter how atypical this is for someone like me...I guess it's a good thing that my heart has still remained the same.

My heart for this little girl that I'm raising to be my own is the only thing that keeps me going.

It's crazy to thi-"

~~~~~

Bucky's thoughts had been interrupted by the sound of Ivory crying. He looked at the time and it was 8:30 pm...Ivory had only been asleep for an hour.

"Up already?" He whispers to himself. Bucky learned that sometimes if he let Ivory cry it out, she would fall asleep on her own...other times Bucky kind of threw in the towel and let Ivory sleep on him.

Just as Bucky is about to go get Ivory, another round of fireworks goes off and Ivory starts uncontrollably screaming and crying. If there was one thing Bucky's heart couldn't handle, it was the sound of Ivory inconsolably crying. Bucky immediately retrieved Ivory and held her close, placing her pacifier in her mouth to soothe her.

"It's okay, I'm here." Ivory was too busy crying to realize Bucky had given her the pacifier.

"Hey now, calm down, Bucky is here..." Bucky says rubbing soothing circles in Ivory's back. He wiped the tears from her eyes and swayed back and forth while shushing her and her cries slowly subsided.

"You wanna see what that scary noise was?" Bucky whispers wiping a stray tear from her cheek. "I promise you it's more pretty than it is scary."

Bucky continued to sway with Ivory until he got back onto the balcony. He sat down in the chair and faced Ivory out so she could see the fireworks.

"Summer of 1940...I took a Red head named Dot to see some really nice fireworks back in New York...Central park always did it up for the 4th of July..." Bucky explains. "I would say the fireworks here in Bucharest aren't too bad...it doesn't beat New York's fireworks though."

Ivory sat quietly in Bucky's lap while Bucky tried to continue his entry from a few minutes ago.

~~~~~

"...It's crazy to think that someone so little was able to make such a big difference in my life. To see how far she has come in these past few weeks is something special...I only hope that I will be able to watch her learn and grow...some part of me still feels like Someone is coming for me...

I don't know know the day, nor the hour.

I don't know if it will be Hydra, The Government, or some other special forces...

All I know is-"

~~~~~

Another round of fireworks went off causing Ivory to slightly flinch in Bucky's arms. Bucky watches as her facial expressions quickly changed from amazement to fear. Before Bucky realized Ivory had been afraid she opened up her mouth to cry, and sadly waved her small fists around as more tears had appeared.

"Alright, Alright, let's go in." Bucky says briskly rushing back inside the apartment, closing the balcony door behind him. "You ready to sleep again?"

Ivory briefly stopped crying to let out a yawn, and Bucky smiled down at Ivory placing her pacifier between her lips. He noticed her clothes had been wet which was a clear indicator that the diaper either leaked or exploded either while she had been sleeping or while Bucky had her watching the fireworks.

"Damn it..." Bucky sighed seeing as the same thing had occurred earlier that morning when Ivory woke up. Luckily for him it was a small leak rather than the explosion he was dealt earlier in the day.

"You really know how to make a mess don't you?" Bucky chuckled sifting through Ivory's bag for a clean set of clothes. Bucky sighed when he realized he would have to figure out a way to restock supplies for Ivory...The thought had crossed his mind while he had been undressing her.

He knew Ivory wasn't going to stay little forever and so he knew he had to figure something out. While Bucky had been thinking he failed to notice Ivory had fallen back to sleep while he had been changing her into a dry diaper. He smiled at Ivory and put her in a soft sleeper to help keep her warm, and left her in the bed to lay peacefully.

Another loud Boom from the fireworks caused Bucky to flinch and he sighed in relief when the baby remained asleep.

"Thank God..." Bucky sighed going to retrieve his journal from the Balcony. Bucky sat down on the couch and continued his entry once again after multiple interruptions.

~~~~~

"I don't know know the day, nor the hour.

I don't know if it will be Hydra, The Government, or some other special forces...

All I know is, they better think twice before taking Ivory from me."

~~~~~