Mindless

Chapter 12- Blank Spot in the Future

~Now that I am back in my hometown, dealing with the unfinished business and abandonment of the most important relationship I ever had, I realize what I have to face head on~

"Hi," Of course, he sounds distracted.

"I haven't heard from you in a while," I state.

"Been super backed up at work. I hired a couple new people and they're fucking everything up," My fiancé grunts in frustration.

"Sorry to hear that."

"I've gotta go, need to finish this email," Trying to dismiss this, typical.

"Can we please talk? I haven't spoken to you in weeks."

"I'm sorry, but I have a lot of responsibility that falls on me," Lance replies.

"I understand that, but you really don't seem to care that it has been affecting our relationship," Well, I did not think I would be heading this direction on the conversation path first.

"That's not true," He huffs.

"It's painfully true. I understand that work is important, but I've been feeling like your number two lately," I should have just said the past year and longer, you know, tell him the truth.

"Kyle, I devote every ounce of myself into my work because I care about it and want to follow this career path for the rest of my life. I'm sorry if you don't understand that."

I have never been more furious and annoyed in my entire life, this is saying a lot from somebody who hung around Eric Cartman as a kid, "Do you fucking hear yourself?"

"What? What is the problem?" Lance asks, sounding curious.

"I'll let you get back to your work since I know the company will completely fall to pieces if you don't, but answer this before you go, do you still want me to be your husband?"

"I don't know what makes you feel the need to ask me that. My secretary is calling, I gotta go," I do not even receive the chance to say goodbye.

I did not plan for the call to go that way, but I guess I just felt the need to get some things off my chest. I have been putting up with this bullshit for too damn long. If this is how romantic relationships are supposed to go, then I do not want one. My fiancé was not like this when I met him. He was devoted to his work, sure, but certainly not like this. The farther he got in his career, the father he got away from me. I can hardly reach him by phone. I cannot reach his attention, physically or verbally. I have become his number two. Is that too dramatic-sounding?

Maybe I am just asking for too much. The first serious relationship I have ever been in and I am given false hope. Did I deserve this? What I wonder is why he is choosing to make his work the number one priority instead of the person he plans on spending the rest of his life with, if he even still plans on that. From the looks of it, I do not think it is going to happen. If I do not feel the connection, and truly never did, it makes me wonder if he does or ever did. Lance gave me reason to believe I was going to live a happy life with him, so since I wanted a distraction from dwelling on the fact that I would never get to have the person I actually love, I ignored my true feelings and took that giant leap of faith. Now that I think about it, it was clearly the wrong choice. I leave Wendy's bedroom with what I know is a very glum look formed in my lips. She notices and stands up from the couch. She senses my negative emotions.

"He was busy," I start with.

"Are you kidding me? What happened?" Wendy exclaims.

"He tried to say he had to go but I asked if we could talk and said we haven't spoken in weeks, he went on to say he has lots of responsibility to take care of. I ended with asking him if he still wanted me to be his husband."