Mindless

Chapter 16- Guilt That Kills

~Craving that return of the same feelings from him was just becoming so unrealistic to me. It kept me awake at night constantly. It was present in my everyday thoughts and distracted my day-to-day routine. All of my consternation over this has since dissolved~

Kyle
Saying I am on Cloud Nine right now would be an understatement. When I say this, I mean it in a way that is so true and genuine I almost cannot believe it is real. I have never felt such real, raw, intense pleasure from one person in my entire life. His sexual movements have to be laced with feel-good drugs of all kinds. How can one person make another person feel such feelings? Maybe it feels so impossible because I have dealt with what I have dealt with for so long. When Stan entered inside of me, it sounds stupid I am sure, but it is like my entire brain just flatlined. We have been at it for the last twenty seconds or so and I can say one thing is for sure, this is the best sex I have ever had. I could lie and say I pictured that it would be just like this, but I cannot. I had no idea feelings like this or a state of mind like this existed.

Stan releases this really sexy grunt as he begins to thrust at a faster pace, "Fuck, you feel so good."

All I can do is moan in response. My brain has no idea what words to form right now and what thoughts to process in present time. The current actions, motions, sounds, and sights are all that my brain can handle. The overload of everything at once is an amazing overload that I wish could last forever. It probably feels this good because of the way I feel about Stan. Who the hell am I kidding? Of course that is why it feels this good. I suppose it makes sense after all. I feel high, too high, but in the best way. I continue to let my mind be greatly overwhelmed with thoughts of nothing but what is currently going on.

"Stan," I moan out, my eyes screwed shut in pleasure.

Stan continues with the pace he has been at for a minute. He is being so good with me. He was gentle at first, which was much needed since I have not done this in a very long time. I could not have gentleness forever, though. Like I said, it has been a really long time. My hand can only give me so much pleasure. My body has been lonely and forgotten. Having someone give it much-desired attention is amazing. I feel Stan's strong hands hold my hips as he begins to pull out. I have no time to ask him why he has stopped because I am quickly flipped over so my stomach faces the mattress.

Stan pulls on my hips so I am moved onto my knees and forearms. It happens so fast I barely have time to process it. He wastes no time putting himself back inside of me. This time is way different because holy fuck he can go a lot deeper than when I was just in missionary. I cover my mouth, feeling kind of shy about how loud I think I am going to be. It feels even better than before. Having a near death grip on my hips helps him pull them back and forth so he goes fully inside of me. Oh fuck. Oh fuck. I can feel myself wanting to say that out loud but I can only bring myself to say it in my brain. With my mouth covered, my sounds are muffled.

A total mess is all I am right now. I cannot shut the fuck up. It is that damn good. I catch sounds from Stan, which cause me to produce my own. That familiar feeling is approaching. Yeah, of course it was not going to take long considering how long it has been for me. Although I can detect the familiar feeling, it seems to be about twenty times stronger. Stan places a hand on my lower back, slowly pressing down. The pleasure begins to increase in this particular position. I cannot hold out anymore.

"I...Stan...I'm..."

He begins to speed up and then it happens, producing an immense state of euphoria for my mind and body to undergo. My body can just barely handle it because of the oxytocin overload. Somehow, this experience manages to wash over Stan right when it hits my body. His enticing sounds cause my orgasm to feel even more intense. It takes a minute or so for me to gain back my composure. I feel Stan slide out of me slowly. I feel myself starting to collapse onto the mattress. A pair of strong arms pull me in close. My body moves so I am facing Stan, my head on his shoulder and his arm around me. As we lay there we gaze into each other's eyes.