Mindless

Chapter 15- Awaited Bliss

~I never once thought anything like this would happen between the two of us. Did it ever cross my mind? Well, let's just call that a story for another time. It kind of just dawns on me, what is my next move here?~

I do not receive an answer from Stan due to my phone ringing. Normally, I would ignore it, but it is Lance's set ringtone that I am hearing. Stan notices me look in the direction of my phone, he motions to it, letting me know it is okay if I pick it up. I feel rude taking a phone call in the middle of our conversation, but Stan said it was okay for me to and I have unfinished business with the person calling. I walk off into the second bedroom of Stan's apartment, which is pretty much a storage room. I finally accept the call and raise the phone to my ear, waiting to hear my fiancé's voice. If I am planning to break things off, I better get used to not calling him that. Next thing I know, the line goes dead in my ear. What the hell? That was weird.

I call Lance back and get him on the second ring, "Sorry, didn't mean to call, pocket dialed you."

"That's okay. How are you?"

"Slammed with paperwork. I've got a few phone calls to make so I better-"

"Can you talk to me for one minute?" It comes out just as angry as I feel inside.

I can hear his shock through his hesitation to speak, "I'm very busy, Kyle."

"I've barely had a chance to speak to you since I've been here. I can't remember the last time we had a real conversation."

"It's difficult for me to talk to anyone outside of work. I've been getting little to no sleep with how much shit I've had to do lately," He explains in frustration.

"So you'd talk to me if you weren't busy?" I ask genuinely.

"What kind of question even is that?"

"One that I want an honest answer for," Guess my brave side is paying an unexpected visit.

"Kyle, you wouldn't understand. My life is very different from yours. I am running a whole bunch of different things at once, you're just a teacher's assistant. I can't talk to you whenever you need me to, I have things that require my attention on the spot, that means they cannot wait to be tended to. I hope you will realize that some day."

His words go through my ears like sharp pitchforks. I stand there, my feet glued to the floor, and the phone up to my ear. Those words keep playing over and over again before I end the call and throw my phone against a tall bookshelf in the room. It hits hard and then drops to the carpet floor. I look at it lying there, probably damaged. I could not care less right now. He is not mine, I do not want him as mine, I am certainly not his. I am finished. We're done, done for good, absolutely not a couple anymore. He has never spoken to me that way, ever. That is why I am so taken aback by it. I do not need this. I guess happiness will have to be found elsewhere. He provided me mediocre happiness in the beginning, so it was liable to burn out at some point.

I take a few deep breaths out of frustration. This guy was clearly just a waste of my fucking time. To hell with the fact that he was a distraction. With the way Stan has dealt with the truth, maybe it would have been a whole lot simpler for me to just tell him my feelings back when I lived here in South Park. I mean, I was terrified to my core to tell him the truth, but still. It was always him, it was always Stan. The feelings I have for him never once disappeared. As much as they were pushed to the back of my mind, they never disappeared or faded. I want him. I need him.

Speaking of him, "What was that? You okay?" He must have heard me throw my phone.

Without hesitation, I walk up to him and kiss him, leaving any shyness I ever had standing in the dust. The feeling of being rejected is no longer present. Stan's hands grip the sides of my waist, causing me to grip onto him harder. I have never wanted anyone in my life other than him. This kiss is more passionate, it is filled with mountains of lust. His hands move up under my shirt and continue holding me tightly. The overwhelming feeling of passion is surrounding my brain with this cloudy feeling. Just like he did when we were intimate on the couch, Stan begins to kiss my neck. His kisses grow more intense which causes the excitement to spike inside of me.