Mindless

Chapter 11- The Uncovered Truth

~From the wave of unexpectedness I do not know how to come to terms with it. I still have not woken up, maybe this is for real and not happening in some make-believe universe~

Kyle
The second the question enters my ears, I feel everything inside me freeze up. It takes me very little time to process his question and how I am going to answer it. I stand up off the couch and grab my phone. I have to get out of here; this has all been moving way too fast for my comfort zone to handle. Thank the lord I drove myself here because asking Stan for a ride right now would be really awkward. How was I able to let myself get this far? I planned to never see him again. Why would I agree to come to his home and talk to him? I hear Stan leave the couch as well.

"Kyle, where are you going?"

"I have to go, I'll go change out of your clothes," I tell Stan, reaching for my clothes I neatly folded last night before going to sleep.

"But Kyle-"

"I have to go."

As I begin to head off towards the bathroom, I feel a hand on my shoulder spin me back around, "Just tell me, yes or no?"

"I-I have to go, I'm sorry," I do not even know what to do right now, so I just proceed on my route to the bathroom.

"Am I this hard to be around?"

I pause in my tracks and sigh, my back to him, "That's not what it is."

"Then tell me what it is!" Stan exclaims.

I feel my feet take the last few steps to reach the bathroom. I close the door behind me frantically. There is something holding me back from telling him, the whole reason I left. I left because I never wanted to get hurt over this. Preventing my heart from getting broken was the decision I felt was a necessity at the time. There is no chance Stan has the same feelings that I do; I just cannot picture him returning my feelings. He did hold me when I kissed him, he did not reject me. However, that could have been the wine and he could have just been doing that because he thought it would just be a one time thing. I begin to remove the pajamas. I know he is right outside the door.

"Kyle, please come out here," From the tone of his voice, he seems to know that this situation is overwhelming for me.

"I'm gonna change," I say through a very uneven voice, here comes my anxiety to fuck with me.

"Look, I didn't mean to make you upset. I just feel like I've done something to make you hate me. After last night, I'm really fucking confused," Stan explains from outside the door.

I slip my shirt over my head, "I don't hate you."

"Kyle, just talk to me, please," He is asking nicely, it is making me feel like a shithead again.

I finish getting dressed in my clothes from last night and fix my hair with my fingers as best I can. After that, I know what is next: Facing Stan. If I want to be a good person and try and fix the damage I have done, I do need to fess up. No matter how hard telling Stan the truth may be, he does deserve to know what the hell is going on. From the sounds of it, the kiss was no eye opener. He did not receive my message. It was not specific enough. Another one would probably not help. I have to say something to him. Ignoring him more will just piss him off more. I exit the bathroom, trying to prepare myself for the unknown reality waiting to wrap itself around me.

"I've been thinking about calling off my engagement."

"What?" Stan's eyebrows go up in surprise, "Why?"

"I...I honestly don't know if I ever loved him. He barely acts like I exist anymore," Saying this gives me a stab of pain in my heart, actually it is not pain, it is the feeling of revealing the hardcore truth.