The brick to his wall

His friend and his lover

Blinking open his brilliant brown eyes , Shrek found himself in a white room . It gave him a headache . The white swam before his eyes , giving him a sensation similar to drowning . He turned over on his side , groaning , and laid his eyes upon a gently snoring trump . Suddenly , Shrek's head and vision cleared . Trump was Shrek's clarity , his medicine , his support , his safe space . "SHREK MAN YOU'RE AWAKE ?!" An annoying voice yelled . Surprisingly , trump didn't stir . There was only one person that could have emitted this obnoxious voice , and that was shrek's best friend . "DONKÆ! CAN'T YOU TELL THAT WE'RE HAVING A MOMENT !" Shrek yelled , brittle voice taking on a nasal quality , at 178 decibles , shattering glass and vase that contained wilting flowers .

"Shrek , my man...I don't know how to break this to you ... but we're in a hospital... Trump's dead ! He landed on his head and dies from a brain injury "Donkæ laid a calloused hand on Shrek's soft olive green skin , silently remarking at how smooth it was . "This ... this can't be ! I love Trump ! How else can I develop a romance with him ? I mean , this fanfiction is literally tagged "angst with a happy ending ", so he surely has to wake up right !?" Shrek gestured widely around the room , tears falling angelically from his soft face , makeup somehow pristine . Shrek looked beautiful , like an ethereal being , young yet old with wisdom , carefree but burdened with emotions .

Shrek sobbed , weeping at the foot of Trump's bed . Donkæ softly sighed to himself , and patted Shrek's back , trying to console him . "KYAAAAA! PERVERT !" Came a screech , and a green hand slapped him across the room . Dazed , donkæ could only watch in shock , as his best friend poured his heart out to an unconscious Trump .

Finally believing Trump to be dead after the 176th kiss he planted on his lips , Shrek gave a last silent wail , throwing his head up to the heavens . Then came a shudder , followed by an intensely loud trumpeting noise . "S-sorry ! I had onions for lunch today !" Shrek apologetically muttered , face beet red , evidentially embarrassed . "My princess in ... uh ... a very lewd school girl uniform ! You saved me!" Trump gasped , as he finally sat up straight on the bed , somehow immune to Shrek's deadly farts . Shrek blushed , embarrassed for three major reasons .

First of all , trump caught him farting ! How embarrassing ! Secondly , Trump
called him princess ! Third of all , the sheer force of the fart blew his skirt back so hard , the poor strip of fabric ripped ! Shrek blushed , knowing his cute underwear was on display . "... I'll help you fix it ! " Trump yelled , eager to lend a hand . "No , me !" Screamed an ignorant donkæ from across the room , who somehow survived the fart because he was knocked into the oxygen supply tank .
"No way ! I let trumpykins help" smirked shrek , loving the adoring gaze trump kept on his luscious behind . "BUT SHREK MAN WE'RE SUPPOSED TO BE BFFS—" " SHUT UP !" Shrek roared , and farted donkæ out of the window . Trump stared , unfazed , and reached out to rip his own shirt off , revealing a set of ten packs that would make any bodybuilder envious . Shrek stared in open shock , drool dripping from his lips , glazing those ten packs . Shrek thought those abs were like waffles , and boy was he hungry ! "OW !" Trump shrieked . Shrek snapped out of his reverie , only to find himself biting at Trump's abs . "Whoops, sorry ..." be blushed again , looking like a shy flustered babe . "It's fine babygorl, it's hot ." Trump breathed , his voice barely audible , and winked . Then , Trump ripped his shirt until it became a cloth , and wrapped it around shrek's big fat booty , creating a makeshift skirt . The only problem was ... that Shrek's peach was too big .

"Sowwy senpai!" Shrek squeaked , snuggling in Trump's chest , while his hands were on his butt trying to push it all into the skirt . "Its fine . You got cake bbgorl!" Trump exclaimed , cupping the flesh in his palms . Finally , it all fit , stretching the fabric into a tight microskirt.

Spinning shrek around , Trump hugged Shrek tightly ." Thanks for saving me ." Shrek , flustered when being in such close proximity , squeaked out a "no problem" . He was a shy little femboi after all . Staying like this for a few seconds . Or was it hours ? Shrek lost count , and didn't care . He was finally noticed by his senpai , one stop closer to making him his boyfriend . But then suddenly , something blonde and furry bounced into the room , ruining the moment . And no , it was not Trump's spare wig on a trampoline .

"P to the om to the Pompomputin !" The figure shouted in a bubbly tone , bouncing with energy . Yellow fluffy ears , brown beret and a happy smile , it was none other than pompomPUTIN , trumps loving boyfriend . "Trumpypoo??? You're up ! But what are you doing with that green ogre ?" Putin's bubbly voice lost its energy , hurt filling its place as he took in the scene . Emotions flickered over his face , ranging to sadness , betrayal , and accusing .