N. Romanoff / S. Johansson x Fem Reader

I don't like being touched [ N.R ]

→ warning: mention of rape and panic attack.

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    I was walking behind Fury, I'm going back to the compound to do some things with the Avengers. It's been 2 years since I left, 2 years since Nat and I broke up. 2 years since- no, let's not mention it. It's for the best. I took a deep breath before following Fury inside.

When we entered the building, we met by Avengers sitting on couch. My eyes fall into Natasha and we made eye contact. I saw anger, hate and disgust in her eyes.

"What is she doing here?" Nat asked completely mad.

"She's staying." Fury answered simply.

"Nice to have you back." Steve said and extend his hands.

"Thanks." I said and smiled but didn't take his hands. He looks at his hand and back to me, I know he feels offended but I can't touch him. Not even a tip.

"She don't do shake hands." Fury said and put his hands on my shoulder making me tense up. He noticed it and pulled his hand away.

"Sorry." He whispered.

"It's okay." I whispered back and smiled at him.

"Look who's here." I heard someone said, i look behind my back and saw Bucky. Fear instantly developed in me. I looked at Fury and he shakes his head.

"I didn't know." He said before i say anything.

"How are you y/n?" He said and about to hug me but I step back.

"I'm fine. Fury, let's talk." I said and walks out not waiting for him to respond.

I wait for him outside and took a few deep breaths. After a minute, Fury came out.

"What was that? Why is he here?" I whispered shout.

"I didn't know, I promise. I have no idea." Fury explain.

"I'm sorry." He apologized and I just smiled at him.

"Let's go back inside." I said and start to head back, i look at them again and my eyes met with Bucky. He have this smirk on his face that pissing me off but also making me feel scared and unsafe.

"y/n? you alright?" Tony asked.

"Uh, yeah. I'll just head to my room and take a rest. If you need anything you know where to find me." I said and walked to the elevator. I press the floor where my room is.

Once I'm in my room, my knees finally gave up. I crumble to the floor and tears start to stream down my face.

I can't trust anyone to touch me again even if it's innocent touch after what Bucky did to me. I wanted to feel how to be in someone's arms again or have a skin to skin contact but I can't. I'm scared.

I let myself cry until I finally calmed down. I stand from the floor and heads out. I walked to the lounge where the Avengers are.

"You okay y/n?" Wanda said as soon as I enter the room. She walked towards me and place her hand in my cheeks making my senses tense.

"Yeah, please remove your hand." I said sternly. She quickly remove her hand and looks at me confused. She knows that my love language are touch, that's why she's curious why I don't like being touch. She doesn't know why. She don't have to know.

"Why? You want Bucky's hand instead?" Natasha said. I look at her and shake my head.

"I just don't like being touched." I keep my answer simple.

"Yeah right." She mumbled.

"Stop it, Nat." Steve warned her. She scoff before walking out.

When Nat and I broke up, she taught I was cheating on her with Bucky. She didn't let me explain, she just come up with her decision that she wants to end everything. Only if she knew. Only if she let me explain.