I waited for Wonwoo. I told him to meet me at the park after school and he agreed. I'm just sitting on the bench while playing with my fat fingers.
I'm sure gonna miss this park. It's gonna be my last time coming here and spending my time with Wonwoo.
"Hey, Aru!" There he is.
I stood up and waved my hand to him. He rushed to me and breath heavily once he reached me, I chuckled seeing him like that. That's actually kinda cute.
"Let's play hide and seek!" He exclaimed.
"I will count from one to twenty. You go find a place to hide!" Wonwoo closed his eyes and started counting.
"20! I opened my eyes and now I'm ready to find you-" Wonwoo's eyes widened seeing me standing still the moment he turned his body around, I gave him a weak smile.
"Aru? Why aren't you hiding?" He tilted his head slightly to the left while giving me the perplexed look.
"There's something that I need to tell you.." I mumbled.
"Hm? What is it? Are you not feeling well?" He walked closer to me but I suddenly walked backwards, preventing him from being closer, he furrowed his eyebrows with my sudden movements.
"What's wrong, Aru?" He asked.
"I'm sorry for everything." I started.
"Huh? What are you even sorry for? You've done nothing bad to me." He frowned.
"I'm so sorry, Wonwoo. I am the reason why people at school are bullying you too. You have a fat and ugly friend, no one should be friend with a fat and ugly girl like me, that's why they bullied you along." I enunciated softly.
"You always stood up against my bullies but I never do the same, I'm a coward. I'm not strong and brave like you." I started crying.
"We don't suit to be each other's friend. You're skinny and you have a cute face meanwhile me? I'm fat and I am so ugly. I hate all the fats I have around my body, I wish they could just disappear in an instant!" I started to hitting and punching my head, my arms, my fat belly and even slapping my ugly face while crying.
"Aru stop! I told you to stop hurting yourself!" He hold both my hands tightly.
"Why are you suddenly like this? I never complain anything about you, I'm fine with you. I like you just the way you are." He told me as he stared into my eyes.
My heart starts to beat faster..
"I like you too, Wonwoo. But I don't feel like I'm right for you, I don't deserve you and never will deserve you." I muttered between my cry.
"Please don't say that." His voice sounded so soft.
"I'm jealous, Wonwoo. I'm jealous of seeing all those skinny and pretty girls. I wish I could be like them, but I'm hopeless. All I ever care about is food. I can't stop eating, I know I should lose some weights but I easily gave up once I saw foods." I turned my head away, I couldn't believe I would tell my secret to Wonwoo. Telling him that I'm jealous of the other skinny girls and that I couldn't help but to eat, it's embarrassing me even more.
"I hate that I'm fat! I hate that I'm ugly!" I shouted as I shut both my eyes tight. He hold both my hands even tighter as he frowned at me.
"What are you talking about? Stop saying you're ugly." He sounded so annoyed right now.
"You are beautiful, when are you not?" The moment he said that, my heart fluttered, I could feel my heart beating even much more faster than before. I stared at him with my widened eyes.
"When will you ever realise that, Aru? You are beautiful. In what way must I show you to prove you that you are beautiful?" He hold both my shoulders firmly.
"No, Wonwoo.." I shook my head.
"I couldn't stand it anymore, it hurts me to see you got bullied just because of defending me, just because you befriend me and just because I'm fat. I hate myself for being like this. I don't want all these things to keep happening.." I mumbled, he stared at me in puzzlement.
"I will transfer to another school tomorrow. This will be the last time we meet." I flashed him my sad smile, he stood there frozen.
"H-how? How could you just leave me, Aru? Why? Why, Aru?!" He shook my body, his eyes went teary after that.
"Because this is for your sake! I want you to enjoy a peaceful day at school, you never have the chance to when you're with me. I figured I'm the reason behind it, I don't want your school life to be ruined just because of a fat girl, that is me." I just keep on smiling but deep inside my heart, I'm really broken and hurt.
"Wait.. Is that why you've been acting weird and saying things as if you're gonna leave since in the morning? Because you really will be leaving me?" He raised an eyebrow.
"It was my fault, I was so selfish for wanting a friend. I was desperate to have a friend without thinking of the consequences I'm giving to my friend. I bring no good to you, Wonwoo." I sounded almost like whispering, I'm so disappointed with myself.
That's why I hate myself way too much.
"Who cares? I don't mind standing up against the bullies everyday as long as I get to be with you!" He carped, he have an expression of angry at the same time disappointed.
"I don't mind getting bullied by all of them, as long as I can still see you everyday." There, he started crying.
That's the first time I ever saw Wonwoo crying. He must've feel so dejected and devastated. I broke his heart.. I didn't mean it, I just wanted him to have a normal life at school. If I keep on being by his side, he would never have the chance to experience a normal school life like the other kids.
So it's better if I'm just gone from his life..
"It's been only around three months but in such short period of times, you've made me smile and laugh a lot. Thank you for being my friend." I sincerely smiled to him.
"Don't you like me?"
"I do."
"I like you, Wonwoo. I like you very much. Thanks for always being there for me, thanks for always spending your time with me, thanks for always sharing your foods with me. Thanks for everything. Thanks for all the memories, I won't forget you." I hugged him, I can feel his tears dropping on my shoulders.
"Goodbye, Wonwoo.."
I broke the hug and walked away. I started to cry again while sobbing. I punched my chest for crying too much. But at least now.. Wonwoo will have a normal school life and I should be happy for him.
"I will find you! You just wait and see, I'll find you!" He bellowed, so loud that everyone nearer are watching us.
I'm sorry, Wonwoo.
But by this way, you'll live a normal life..
-
