"Where's my pen?" I questioned myself while my hands are wandering around my study table, trying to find my pen and that's when I heard something dropped from my table.
I bent my knees and picked it up.
It's a picture from five years ago.
A picture of two friends smiling, the other is a skinny guy while the other is a fat girl.
A somber smile appeared on my lips.
All the memories came to my mind, like a flashback.
I suddenly remember how we always shared our foods, had fun together at the park, sneaking to the rooftop just to eat our lunch without any other people disturbing us and I even remember how such a sweet and warm person he really was.
I shook my head and put the picture properly on my study table. I put my pen inside my pencil case before putting my pencil case inside my school bag and rushed to the kitchen after that.
"Morning mom!" I kissed her cheek.
"Right on time, you can't be late on your first day of attending new school." She nagged.
"I'm not late, I'm done now, don't you see?" I raised an eyebrow with a teasing smile.
"No more transferring school after this." She coldly stated.
"Yeah yeah.." I nodded my head.
Right, I've transferred to three middle schools and transferred to two high schools. This is the third high school I'll be attending. I frequently transferred schools because yeah.. The bullies. Doesn't matter where I go, the bullies just won't stop.
I just hope the bullying won't happen again.
Because I'm no longer the fat girl anymore.
Now I'm skinny, like the other normal skinny girls. Now I'm confident, like the other skinny girls. Now I can wear whatever I want, like any other skinny girls. Now I don't have to feel ashamed of myself and my body, because I'm skinny!
People won't be bullying me again, making fun of me again and even body shaming me again!
I starved myself just to get this ideal body of mine and of course, with excersices. I endured myself for six months but everything was totally worth it. It feels so nice to be skinny. At first it feels weird because of how light my body is. But now, I feel so natural!
The picture earlier reminded me of him.
If I ever meet him again,
Will he recognize me?
Will he still like me?
I look different now, far different.
I waited for him.
On our last day of meeting, he told me that he's gonna find me and told me to wait. I've been waiting for five years now, I haven't seen him ever since. Maybe he gave up on finding me or maybe, he's still looking for me?
I shook my head.
That was five years ago. We were just kids back then. We were too young back then, we were just thirteen. It's probably just a puppy love, right?
He probably wouldn't even like me again even if we are gonna meet again one day.
He even might already have a girlfriend by now.
But it's hard for me to forget him since he's my first ever friend.. I never have any friend aside him despite transferring to the other schools. I've been feeling so lonely and there's no one who stood up against my bullies, like what he always did before.
The moment I arrived, I suddenly became nervous. I closed my eyes and took a deep breath for three times before opening my eyes back. I looked on both my left and right side.
I feel so normal.
I feel so confident now.
Congratulations to myself.
My new life has just started.
-
"Let's have our lunch together and after that I'll give you a tour around the school." It's my new friend, my seatmate, Kim Yemin.
"Sure, that would be great." I smiled to her.
We went to the cafeteria and had our lunch. At first it feels so awkward going to the cafeteria but as the few minutes passed by, I don't feel awkward anymore. Yemin is my first friend ever since I lost a friend, which is him.
It actually feels so nice eating lunch at the cafeteria with this new body of mine. Nobody cares about me, nobody judges me and nobody glares at me. I.. I'm no longer seen as a fat and ugly girl!
I never went to the school's cafeteria ever since. My last time eating lunch at the school's cafeteria was probably when I went with him.
It feels so nice to be able to eat at the school's cafeteria again..
After eating, Yemin gave me a tour around the school.
"Do you have a boyfriend?" Yemin suddenly asked me.
"No.."
"What? Why! You're pretty, the boys must be blind." Yemin giggled.
"P-pretty?" I whispered to myself. She nodded her head before talking about something else.
"I wasn't pretty, only recently that I've become skinny." I murmured to myself, luckily Yemin didn't hear any of it.
"What about you?" I asked her back.
"Well.. I used to date a lot during middle school but now I just have several crushes at the same time. Does that makes me a playgirl? No, right? It's just crushes." Her statement amazed me honestly.
"You're cool." Is the only thing I uttered.
"I regret dating a lot of boys! Oh my god." She ended up laughing.
It must've been fun to date someone. I never had the chance to date, every guy who sees me said that they will never date me because I'm fat and ugly and that I'll only gonna embarrassed them. They even said that nobody will ever love me with such body and face.
Those movies and dramas about a guy falling in love with a fat girl are all lies. That kind of thing don't happen in real life. If it is even real, why don't it happen to me?
Oh yeah..
It did happened.
But it was just a puppy love, I guess. We were just kids.. I'm sure that if we meet again and I'm still fat, he will surely change his mind once he sees me again and he'll say the same thing like the other boys.
"It must be awesome to date someone." I mumbled.
"It is, only when both feel the same way." She winked at me.
I saw a bunch of boys on the field playing basketball while some are just sitting watching them. All of them are so good looking. So, this is what it feels like walking around the school? You can see a group of students just chilling, some are singing together, some are reading books together and some are playing sports together.
This is how it feels to see hot and handsome guys at school.
I didn't know school could be this fun since I've just always stayed in class, preventing myself from getting bullied and also preventing myself from being stared by a lot of people because I was very embarrassed of my fat body before.
Watching the boys playing and having fun.. It must be cool if I'm dating one of them. It must be nice to date someone cool like them and enjoy your time watching him playing with his friends.
"What are you looking at?" Yemin questioned me, snapping me out of my thoughts.
"Nothing, just watching the guys playing basketball." I smiled.
"Let's go, I have another place to show you!" Yemin grabbed my arm bringing me away from the place meanwhile me, I still am having my eyes on them.
-
