~Venting/Rants~

12-15-21

Matthew and Kat keep shipping me with Olly and saying "things" about me and Olly.

I don't like Olly.

I like Amber.....

Yeah....

It sucks.

I don't wanna be with Olly, I don't exactly know if I wanna be with anyone.

I don't like being single, but relationships also suck.

I hate seeing Kat and Matthew happy together, that's what I wanted. 

I wanted a happy, healthy, relationship with flirting, and hand holding, and hugs, and calling and texting each other constantly. 

But instead I got betrayed and hurt.

I wanted to be with him yet he ended up being with her.

I hate it.

I hate seeing them together, I hate seeing them flirt and hug and hold hands.

The whole situation with them has ruined my mental health.

I honestly just wanna cry right now.

I want a therapist, at this point I've already considered talking to the school guidance counselor.

I'm not okay, yet when I'm around them I have to pretend to be okay or say I'm just tired.

I can't tell them that they're my problem and that seeing them together is what upsets me.

That's not right, yet what they did to me wasn't either.

Thinking about it hurts, I hardly have any energy to even wake up and get ready for school.

It's exhausting, life, school, them, it's all too much for me to handle now.

They know I'm not okay yet it doesn't seem to matter.

I don't seem to matter to them anymore.

They say they care and act like they care when it's brought to their attention by me saying something directly, but when I go silent and hardly even pay them or anyone else attention and when I'm not laughing or smiling they don't seem worried.

When I seem sad they don't seem to even notice, they only notice if I say something.