Musings of the Insane

One night stand

I hear the razor calling me,
It's barely 11 O'clock.
My parents aren't home,
And I'm feeling lonely.
The typical call of an ex lover
You haven't quite let go of.
I bite my nails, uncertain.
It's so tempting,
But I've been doing so good.
I feel the jagged pain again,
Ripping the air out of my lungs,
Making my heart beat out of control.
Reliving the exact moment he left,
Just hours ago.
He always said we'd have forever,
But I guess that meant more to me
Than it did to him,
Because he never thought twice
About leaving me.
Alone.
So alone.
The pain comes back ten-fold.
He left me for her.
My best friend.
She was supposed to have my back.
Everybody leaves.
They all disappoint.
My eyes wander over to the spot
That I keep my blade, wrapped in silk.
Except you.
You never disappoint.
The pain never changes.
Never becomes unbearable.
I crawl over to it,
Answering it's call.
But I tell myself it's just
A one night stand.
That I'm leaving it after this.
One hit is all I need.
I hope.