Musings of the Insane

Shock

All is lost,

the enemy won.

I'm left with nothing but ashes,

memories that burn

like acid in my mind.

Kisses, hugs, "I love you"s

all branded on my mind.

I miss you.

I need you.

I hate you.

Damn it.

I'm falling apart,

all hope has disappeared.

Any ray of light,

has been destroyed by the darkness

that consumes my mind.

You left.

why?

I don't understand.

I think I'm in shock,

because there's no pain yet.

It's more like when you jump into a pool

in winter.

All you feel is the coldness.

Not quite pain,

but you are aware of it,

knowing that at any second your body

will become aware of what has happened.

That's when the pain sets in.

Tearing through skin, muscle, and bone.

A thousand knives cutting you,

the water swirling red.

That is what will happen to me.

Eventually.

But for now, I'll just accept the numbness,

let it sooth me and keep the pain away.

Eventually, I'll have to face it.

Have to accept the fact that I am alone,

that I wasn't good enough.

But I can't right now.

I'm in shock.