Grey Waters

17: Kennedy

Thank you guys so so much for over 30K!! It's insane.
I wanted to let you guys know that with my birthday and Christmas coming up, I probably won't be very active for a few days, but I'll still try and upload a chapter or two;)

Neither Sam nor I talk on our way back from the gym. I told Sanders I was getting a migraine and needed to go home and nap. I feel a little bad about lying but at the same time I just didn't want to be there anymore.

The podcast I've been listening to says you shouldn't set aside your own needs to avoid making other people uncomfortable or mad, so I did what I had to do. And what I had to do was go home and cry.

When I dropped Sam off, I could tell she was confused about why I wanted to leave before the class even started, but she didn't push me and only said she'd text me later.

I sat in my car for a little bit outside her apartment, trying to calm down enough to drive home. I don't even know why I'm so worked up over what Greyson said. He's always been borderline rude so I don't understand why it came as such a surprise that he was an ass.

You don't need to come.

My lips tremble a little and I press them together tightly.

I'm fine, I'm fine. I take two deep breaths and count to ten before I pull out of her parking lot and head home.

By the time I'm walking into my apartment I've decided I'm done trying to be Greyson's friend. After weeks of trying, I finally thought we were, and now I don't know if I just convinced myself we were because I was desperate for him to like me.

But I'm not desperate. I have other friends. And even if I didn't, I'd rather have no friends than a mean one.

Right when I think I'm finally calmed down and over it, Coco comes running into the room and comes right over to me, rubbing against my leg and I burst into tears.

Fuck.

I lean down, wanting to pick him up and hug him, but before I can touch him, he runs away, back into my room and my tears turn into full on sobs.

I try to calm down, but before I can, my phone rings from my bag and what I see just makes me cry harder. Greyson's calling me.

Does he want to make sure I know we're not friends? Or maybe tell me his fights are invite only and I didn't make the list?

Throwing my phone on the counter, I turn on the shower and strip off my clothes. When I climb in, it's burning hot, but I don't even care.

That night, for the first time in days, I don't go to bed smiling.

••

The next morning I wake up with a blinding headache and swollen eyes and I take it as a sign to stay home for the day. I've only got one class today so it's the perfect day to skip. Well aside from the days I have no classes... but that's besides the point.

I make my favourite breakfast and not one but two coffees because I'm feeling spicy, and set up camp on the couch with the office in the background.

After sitting there rethinking every conversation and interaction I've had with Greyson to see if maybe I was crazy and it was all one sided, I remember what I told my self last night. I'm done.

So I force him from my mind and focus on the puzzle I pulled out. When it doesn't manage to distract me, I run to my room and grab a book from my TBR shelf. It's some romcom I impulse bought on Amazon and after 100 pages, I just can't get into it.