Hiding In Plain Sight

It's Time I Ended It

WARNING

! THIS CHAPTER IS A SUICIDE ATTEMPT !
If you ever feel like taking your life, please, please contact an emergency number. Suicide is not worth it, losing your life is not worth it when things get better, they always do :)

<--o--🩸--o-->

"How could a virgin like you kill anyone?" Iruma cackled. The room had been filled with shock after everyone heard Shuichi's explanation for his blood-soaked clothing.

"You're scary when you're angry..." Kiibo mumbled.

"That's how you become a man!" Momota cheered.

"It's not his first time killing someone, eh Shuichi? At least I know you'll kill for us," Rantaro joked, pulling Shuichi into a side hug.

"Hey, wait! You'll get more blood on your clothes!" Shuichi attempted to break the hug, not wanting to ruin Rantaro's outfit.

"I don't care," the greenette laughed, pulling Shuichi in for a warm, loving kiss. As long as everyone's okay, that's all that matters to me now. Glancing over at Kokichi sleeping peacefully in the corner, Shuichi smiled again. Kokichi's alive and well.

<--o--🩸--o-->

Shuichi sighed as he sat up in his makeshift bed and curled into the foetal position, leaning against the wall and staring into the dim room. I killed so many people who didn't wrong me in any way, they were only doing their job. Their families are distraught now and it's all my fault. How could I be so fucking horrible? His eyes burned from a lack of sleep, the male having tossed and turned for hours. Every time he closed his eyes, flashbacks of him murdering innocent police officers without mercy flashed through his vision.

I heard it on the TV announcement and Shirogane said that the government wants us alive. How could I believe Kokichi was dead? Like an idiot, I just assumed before even checking for a pulse, he hadn't been bleeding at all either. Tears poured down Shuichi's cheeks, soaking his fresh, clean outfit with a salty mess. Shuichi did his best to silence his sobs, crying into his knees with his arms covering his mouth, hugging his chest.

What if someone murdered me like that? My last moments, having been shot by a disgusting criminal, realising I'd never see my family again. I'm a fucking murderer, nothing more, nothing less. It doesn't matter what my motives were, I've still killed people. Murderers are low-lives, they deserve to be punished and I'm no different. Shuichi glared at nothing in particular, throwing his thin blanket off of his body with frustration. If the government want me so bad, maybe I should give them what they want. No, no I can't give in, I have to take away their target instead. I will win.

The bluenette's eyes shifted to his sleeves, a sliver of white peeking out from underneath. Shuichi lifted the sleeves and stared at his bandages, spotted brown from blood. I'm so pathetic, I can't even go a week without slicing my body open. Even though I promised Rantaro and Kokichi I'd stopped, I've still been hurting myself without their knowledge. They don't deserve to have someone as horrible as I as their boyfriend, they'd be happier without me around. Deep down I know they hate me, they're just too nice to say it.

"Fuck it," Shuichi mumbled to himself. Standing up, Shuichi glanced around at his sleeping comrades, only one bed remaining unoccupied. A murderer like me deserves nothing but death. Set in his decision, Shuichi crept towards their supplies and found a notebook, scribbling a note down and placing it on his pillow. I'm sorry. Rantaro, Kokichi, I love you two.

Carefully sneaking around his sleeping friends, Shuichi approached Iruma and knelt beside her dozing body. Usually, he'd be terrified about waking someone up, but his brain had melted away any sense of worry or fear. He didn't care about anything other than his goal. Reaching underneath Iruma's pillow, Shuichi wrapped his hand around the handgun and slipped it out of its hiding spot, slipping it under his belt to hide it. Shirogane's on watch right now. If she catches on, there's no doubt she'll stop me. No point attempting to use my knife since I could back out and there's no guarantee I'll stab the right spot.

All tension in the bluenette's body flowed out like a delicate waterfall, soaking into the earth below him as he slipped outside. Trudging down the staircase, Shuichi stared blankly at the steel staircase. "Hello!~" A little child's voice sang, bouncing around the male.

"Oh, sorry Saihara, didn't realise it was you," Shirogane apologised, slipping out of her hiding spot.

"Who's with you?" Saihara mumbled, unable to add tone or energy to his drained body.

"No one, I just created a hallucination. It's my power, remember?"

"Oh."

"Hey, are you alright? You seem upset about something," Shirogane asked, placing a hand on Shuichi's shoulder.

"Tired. Need the bathroom," he sighed.

"Hm, alright, stay safe! Call me if you need help!" Shirogane smiled, waving as the male shuffled around the corner. The moment he was out of sight, Shuichi used what sliver of energy remained to bolt through the deserted back alleyway. Running three buildings along, Shuichi jumped through an open door to find himself in a retail store, rotting fabric adorning the shelves and racks.

Pulling the gun out of its hiding place, Shuichi ignored the imprint it left on his skin. Shuichi felt like his body should be trembling with adrenaline or fear, but it remained as still as a sniper's. He no longer had control over his actions, his consciousness remaining in the street where he thought Kokichi died. Hearing tiny taps, Shuichi faintly recognised his body walking through the abandoned, almost pitch-black store. He'd turned a corner into what resembled changing rooms, the male approaching the back wall and sliding down to the ground.

He sat there, unmoving as Shuichi stared at the ceiling, his mind blank and body numb. Ten minutes passed with every blink of an eye, the only sound the male could hear was his breathing and the occasional creak of the building. Slowly, his head lowered to stare directly in front of him, his hand suddenly aware of the weapon it'd been holding. It's time. "I'm sorry everyone, I'm sorry Rantaro, I'm sorry Kokichi, and I'm sorry Uncle.  The strong Saihara you all knew never existed, I've always been weak," the male whispered to himself.

As he spoke, the male prepared the loaded gun, raising it towards his head. Shuichi crossed his legs, staring up at the ceiling again and closing his eyes. Here we go again. This time will be a success. Slipping the barrel of the gun into his mouth, Shuichi aimed it towards his brain and wrapped his index finger around the trigger.