STRAWBERRY BUBBLEGUM [18+]

Chapter Twenty-One

TRIGGER WARNING: sadness.

Description of character death.

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March 7th, 2012
San Francisco, California
UCSF Medical Center
Room 333

They're finally letting Jennifer go home today. She was finally cleared to fly finally and the jet was waiting for us, well my family's jet was waiting on us. The Bureau wouldn't approve the plane for her flight home. I've been in California with Jennifer the entire time. We hardly talk most days, she's still not remembering things past my "death". She still looks at me as if she's seeing a ghost. I haven't been sleeping or eating. I feel so empty and lost. I cry almost every night or get drunk in my hotel room. They thankfully found her suitcase in the taxi trunk with all of her things still there including her phone, laptop, and wallet. They all had our pictures in or on them.

"Hey, are you ready?" I asked her walking into her hospital room with a wheelchair. It was 12 o'clock in the afternoon and I was so ready to get back home.

"Uh, yeah. I just signed my release papers.." she said sitting there staring at me. "Did you guys find my suitcase? It had all my stuff in there."

"We did, it's outside in the car." She nods and stands up, I move closer so she can sit down in the wheelchair. She grabs her paperwork and I head out the room to the elevators. We climb on and take that down to the lobby. I wheel her outside to the car I ordered for us, courtesy of one Elizabeth Prentiss actually. I helped her into the backseat before climbing in myself.

"Can I have my phone?" She asks as we pull away from the hospital.

"Oh yeah." I reach back and grab my purse, I grab it and hand it to her. She looks over the phone before finding the power button. She hardly used smartphones before we got together, that's why she and Reid were alike. They hated them. I see her stare at the screen as the phone comes on. It's a picture of us we took on the couch in my apartment. I watch as she puts in a passcode, not her current one, twice.

"It's 0115" I say quietly.

"What?"

"Your passcode, it's 0115.. That's when we started dating.."

"Oh.." she puts it in and it unlocks "Thanks" I turn my head and look out the window as we make our way towards the airport. We finally arrive at the airport, the driver brings our bags up while I make sure Jennifer gets up the stairs okay. We get settled on the plane and they take off. She takes the seat towards the back of the plane, I take the couch and lay down.

I fell asleep halfway through our 7 hour flight. Being near Jennifer helped me fall asleep, I only got about 3-4 hours, if that, while she was in the hospital.

...

"Jennifer, please stay with me!" I begged as Jennifer laid on the floor covered in blood. The unsub was dead on the ground after I shot him right in the center of his head.

"E-e-em-" she tried to say.

"No, don't talk baby. Help is on the way okay? You're going to be okay" I said as I sobbed over her. "Derek, where is the ambulance?!" I yelled into my mic. My hands were shaking so bad as I pressed them against her stomach. The unsub was stabbing her when I walked in.

"I-I-I tried t-t-to f-f-fight"

"I know you did baby and I'm so proud of you" she smiles faintly at me. Her eyes keep closing. "Hey no baby, keep your eyes open"

"I'm so tired Emmy.." she said clearly this time. I bite my lip to keep from crying out.

"I know you are baby but please hang on"

"I'm sorry.." she whispers as her eyes finally close and she goes limp.

"NO, JENNIFER!"

...

I jump awake and notice Jennifer standing over me frowning. I sit up and run to the bathroom. I sink down to the floor, throwing up in the toilet. I lean back against the door and pull my knees to my chest, sobbing into them.

I'm losing the one person that made me genuinely happy since I've been back. The person that made me feel alive finally, someone that I've loved for a long time. I feel so empty, so useless, so.. Lost. I sit there for a few minutes then stand up, I splash some cold water on my face and wipe the water away before stepping out of the bathroom.

Jennifer is waiting there, leaning against the counter that holds the coffee machine.

"Hey, are you okay?" She asks, looking me over. I probably look so disgusting and crazy. I run a hand through my hair.

"I'm fine.. Thank you"

"D-do you wanna talk about it?" She chews on her lip. I smile softly, trying not to cry again. I want to hug her so bad, I just want to feel her.

"No, it's fine, really. I'm just tired."

"Okay.. Well, the pilot said we are 20 minutes out."

"Okay, well uh I guess we better get seated and buckled in" I gently move past her and take a seat towards the front of the plane. She takes her seat again. I can feel her eyes on me for the next 20 minutes. I just want to be in my own bed now.

We finally landed and climbed into the awaiting car, we had to stop by the BAU so I could get my car. Once we arrived at the BAU, we went up the 6th floor. The team was there waiting to see Jennifer. She would be off until she regained her memory, if that even happens.

Garcia was the first one to pull Jennifer into a hug when we arrived at the bullpen.

"Oh my blue eyed princess, it's so good to see you without all those damn wires!" I chuckle softly when she keeps hugging Jennifer.

"Babygirl, don't squeeze her too hard," Derek said.

"Oh, I'm sorry! I just missed her so much!" She finally let's her go and everybody else pulls her into a hug.

"Are you going home with your lover girl tonight?" Derek said, bumping Jennifer's shoulder. I wrapped my arms around myself as I looked down at the ground.

"Uh.. No? I normally ride with Spence.." she answers. I can hear Garcia hit Derek on the arm at his stupid question, he knows she doesn't remember anything.

"Oh.. Right.." it's probably a good idea if we DONT tell her that Derek and Spence are dating, she'll be even more confused.

"Okay! Jayje needs to get home so she can sleep. So, pretty boy, take her home please. I'll be taking my dark chocolate home tonight"

"Oh, I like the sound of that baby girl. Don't wait up you guys!" They both left laughing. Rossi was next with Hotch right behind him.

"You coming Emily?" Spence asked.

"Uh, I have some stuff to catch up with then I'll head out. You guys head out.Get some rest."

"Okay, well goodnight" Spence said giving me a hug, Jennifer gave me a small wave as they walked away. A tear rolled down my face as I watched them walk away.

I walked over to my desk and sat down. I looked around the bullpen before turning to my computer, powering it on. I opened my email and started typing.

I hated what I was doing but I needed this for myself.

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JENNIFER NEEDS TO REMEMBER, Emily is so lost and sad without her 😩 I need my babies back!

What is Emily doing with that damn email?! 👀 she better back tf up before I act THE FUCK UP.

Anyways, stay tuned and PLEASE do not ask for updates. My life is getting pretty crazy at the moment and my updates won't be as frequent anymore.

I might be leaving for a while because writing isn't exciting me anymore 😔 and I hate that. I'm trying to get my motivation back, so please bare with me.

I love you all SO much 😘💖